Tag Archives: spiritual

A student

I’ve humbly started this journey again of trying to continue down my spiritual path.  My soul keeps urging me to continue.  In doing so, I’ve come to terms with my experiences in my life and trying to understand where I’m at today.

It seems the majority of life I’ve been dabbling between the astral plane and the earthy plane.  For some reason I tend to dip into the astral plane which is where my medium experiences are coming from.  But this is not a place where I want to spend my time, I want to evolve to the next phase of life.  The astral plane is kind of like drinking the cool-aide.  You have to be careful you don’t get sucked in.  It’s funny, I always thought these experiences made me different/not fit in.  But that’s not the case, we will all tap into this plane at some point during our journey.  I don’t want these experiences to define me.

I’ve had a couple visitations with my spirit guides as an adult and angels when I was little.  It’s taken me many years to understand these experiences.  I’m at the point where I feel I’m ready for a teacher.  I’m continuing to work with the light through mediation and prayer but I know I could benefit from having a teacher.  Until that point I’m going to continue teaching myself.


“Thou shalt not kill”


what really does this mean? When I ask that question what I’m really wondering is if this is just applied to humans or animals as well? Many vegetarians may agree that its applied to both. I’d like to better understand spirituality and vegetarianism.

In December 2012 my life was going through a major change. A change that I couldn’t even begin to be able to comprehend. My world felt like it was flipped upside down. For years and years I had been trying to live with ear muffs on. Denying the things I felt. At my lowest moments I was praying every night asking for someone to make the things I saw and felt stop (in terms of spirit). They never did stop but I did find somewhat of a way of coping. It was called lying. I would lie to myself everyday pretending that I didn’t “feel”, “see” or “know.”

All that changed when December 2012 rolled in. The volume increased fiercely. I could no longer deny anything. I had spirits coming to me daily. I had strong empath skills developing and my psychic skills were amplified. I saw spirit from everything, plants, animals, people. Everything began to move with this divine harmony in life. It was humbling to see this.

I revisit that month in my mind often because these changes I was going through effected so many areas of my life that I find it fascinating.
I no longer wanted to eat meat. I was eating meat every other day or more before this. Infact, I made a conscious point of doing it as I had an iron issue.
Giving it up was “different.” The first week or so I was disgusted by it. This came out of nowhere but as time progressed I just had this feeling of simply “not wanting it.” I figured, “I’ll just eat it whenever I feel like it again.” Going on 9 months here, I still haven’t felt like eating it. It puzzles me how my body could just have no urge for something it was trained to like and digest in these 29 years.

What did it all mean? Is there a connection between spiritual advancement and vegetarianism?

For a full month – all of January 2013 I ate salads galore. I felt like I couldn’t get enough vegetables in. It almost felt like I was replenishing after a fast or something. I felt good as I still had energy and my stomach issues disappeared. Above all, my gifts continued to evolve. Today, its a night and day difference in comparison from where I was in December. It doesn’t feel as a result of a change of diet. Does this make sense? It’s like when you are getting ready to move into a nicer home and you go though all your things to donate the items you no longer need. This is my relationship to meat. It’s simply just not needed anymore.

I wonder if this “meat” change and the spiritual change I was going through are connected? I have read a few articles online that some folks say “giving up meat” is part of a spiritual process of evolving. I found this very interesting and couldn’t help but wonder if this could have been applied to myself.

My Spiritual and Physical Cleanse

Yesterday while performing my morning light work I was having some issues.  My troubles began when I started working the light through my abdominal area and down.  I felt strong blockages within my body that were now working its way to my mind.  I could barely get through two rays.  I specifically felt issues with my liver and intestines.

I knew that I needed to start a cleanse immediately!  I ran out to stock up on ingredients that morning.  I needed to do physical and spiritual cleanse.  I have done these before but never to the extent that I was about to try.  I know allot about cleanses, risks, positives, expectations… But there is one area I haven’t experienced yet and its the spiritual peak of a cleanse.  I am going to update this post daily as I walk you through my experience.  Cleanses can be dangerous for people who do not follow it precisely and/or are reckless about it – not listening to their body’s responses.  I have a very specific set of directions I am following.  This is a liquid concoction no solids allowed.  Let the cleansing begin!

This Cleanse is known as the Oh so famous…. “Master Cleanse!”  So if you know of this cleanse, you know already… my goal is 10 days!

My daily regimen consist of four cups of salt water each morning, 6 -12 cups of a liquid concoction throughout the day with plenty of water and a cleaning tea before bed.

Note – As you know, along with many cleanses… this one is very famous for weightloss.  Although this is not my intention of doing the cleanse, Sure a few pounds loss would be cool.  I’ll be checking myself to debunk a very famous rumor “this cleanse only makes you loose lean muscle and water.”  I’ll be proving this wrong as my scale measures my body fat & water.  I measured at the start and I will measure again, after the cleanse.  I also looked up to see what a healthy water % is for me.

Day 1:

Regimen –  Following outlined regimen.  Feeling – I felt full nearly all day.  I have never had so much energy.  I could not sit still.  I went for a walk twice and did kickboxing.  I feel great!  Very alive and positive!  In the evening I had a minor headache but it soon subsided.  I noticed a slight increase in perception in terms of spirit.

Day 2:

Regimen – Following outlined regimen.  Feeling – I woke up to some uncomfortable cramping in my abdominal area.  It subsided within a half an hour of waking.  While walking this morning and noticed I ached a bit which was unusual for me.  Mid-morning I had an issue and I noticed that I became very emotional.  I actually cried for no apparent reason and I felt pretty moody after….. I went for another walk around lunch and it felt great! Perception to spirit continues to intensify more then usual and more then yesterday.  As I did my light work this afternoon I could feel the light starting to work its way again.  There is still allot of work to be done.  Cheers to that!

Day 3:

Regimen – Following outlined regimen.  Feeling – Wow!  Day three, ok!  So yesterday evening I was a ball of emotions. It’s interesting how this cleanse is working its way through me on an emotional level. I’m sure my persistent light work has something to do with that as well.  This morning I feel good!  I’m going to attempt a walk regardless of the rain!  This cleanse is really working, I can feel it on all levels today.  I ended up going for another walk in the afternoon (besides the morning walk).  The energy spurts are really amazing.  Day three, check!

Day 4:

Regimen – Following outlined regimen.  Feeling – I woke up at about 3 am with my stomach in knots.  The cramping felt pretty similar to the feeling I experience being a woman but not as severe.  Still the pain was enough to sweep me off my feet in agony.  It lasted only about 45 minutes, then subsided.  Today I started to notice I have a glow. There is little need for makeup – atleast concealer anymore.  I went for a walk around noon and in the evening again.  Wasn’t very hungry today for the mixture but I still did glasses.  Pretty good day, looking forward to day five!

Day 5:

Regimen – Following outlined regimen.  Stats – I did not weight myself on day 1 but I did start on day 2.  So far, I have lost 5 pounds, reduced my body fat by 2% and my water % is still within the “normal, healthy” range.  Feeling – Half way through!  Well, maybe…. If my schedule allows it I will go longer.  Today I woke up with stomach issues again but I once again within about 45 minutes it disappeared.  For the most part, this diet is easy if your schedule allows it.  There are a few moments where it is hard and you do question the higher purpose for doing this cleanse. Since for me its been all spiritual & health related, I really feel I have to see this through.  Here I am, relaxing after a full day.  I cleaned out the spare bedroom at atleast two hours, went for two walks, ran errands and worked 8 hours. I feel really really good.  The feeling is not like another feeling I’ve experienced before.  Let’s go day 6, bring it!

Day 6:

Regimen – Following outlined regimen.  Feeling – Stomach issues again this morning due to the tea I have to drink before bed.  Although each day they get milder and milder so I just ride them out.  I continue to feel a stronger connection with spirit.  I think because I am working on me.  I feel more in rhythm.  Yesterday especially.  At the same time I am doing this cleanse as I mentioned prior I am doing by daily light work but I am also dedicating an additional 1.5 hours plus to furthering my education on light work.  I feel like I’m in school everyday because I have made it such a mandatory part of the routine.  And believe me, this cleanse will create a short term routine.  Well today was a great energy filled day!  I worked out with my cardio dance tape for 20 mins, went for a walk, worked and spent the evening shopping with my mother.

Day 7:

Regimen – Following outlined regimen.  Feeling – Another morning of stomach issues.  To see that I am going through this even on the seventh day of my detox is a real eye opener of how much stuff is built up in our bodies. Later this morning my back pains became so extreme that I had to lay down.  After I woke, I went for a walk.  Besides the back pains I have pains also in my ribs.  I read this is very natural to feel these things as the body is cleansing. On an additional note, I cleaned out the whole spare bedroom and finished allot of projects that I hadn’t had the time to get to.  That BIG spurt of energy that people talk about while on this cleanse…. I know exactly what they mean. All afternoon I have been running all over the place.  Then when I got home I went for another walk and ended up walking over 3 miles.  It felt amazing!  It’s hard to put into words but I feel so alive!

Day 8:

Regimen – Following outlined regimen.  Feeling – The stomach issues continue.  In the mornings it can be very hard to see past these because the pain is pretty intense. But by the afternoon you feel so good, that you feel you could give up food for a very long time!

I have decided today would be the last day of the cleanse.  As mentioned earlier, you need to have the time to complete this and unfortunately my schedule will not allow the time the next couple days needed- especially with the mornings I have been having.  It’s ok, though.  The first time I did this for 3-4 days, this time – I lasted 8 days.  What an accomplishment!

Result – I lost 8 pounds in 8 days, feel great inside and out and although I didn’t go the full 10 days – I still feel accomplished.  I plan on doing this cleanse on and off to keep my body clean!  While on this cleanse I finished half a book and was able to take my energy work to a new level.  Spiritually I felt this cleanse helped me concentrate better when connecting because during the cleanse I had learned how to overcome some physical body related needs with the mind.  For example – hunger and pains.  This exercise in itself was a great lessen.  Master cleanse – I’ll be back for round two!

This is a very highly debatable cleanse.  Mostly because it is indeed extreme.  But let me say this, is no more extreme then popping prescription pills for the rest of your life or smoking a pack of smokes everyday.

Riding out the wave

One of the hardest questions for me personally to answer is “why do we do the things we do?”  Sometimes there is no “why” or “reason.”  There’s simply just an action “for the sake of riding out the wave.”  It simply just “is.”  We can’t always put our finger on it but we know that we must ride it out.  For years I had a series of signs that I needed to move to Phoenix AZ not just AZ but Phoenix.  Even looking in my rear-view mirror while living in the Midwest only to see the Painted Desert.  Some signs were more extreme than others.    In the past, when I was ready to move to AZ many people wanted to know why and to be honest even I didn’t really know “why” but I knew the wave  came years before  and would most likely come again next year so I needed to ride it out.  I think when we begin to try to put a scientific explanation behind everything especially thoughts and feelings, that’s when life gets complicated.

I had this dream a few months ago and it was about someone very dear to me.  My Grandma.  She past away many years ago and although she isn’t mentioned too much, I still bake with her old baking pans and think about her allot.  My Grandma had a huge heart of gold and allot of wisdom.  The way I view her is someone who wanted to do more in life then she had the opportunity to.  Her husband, my grandpa was controlling in their life together and when he passed she needed to rely on family as her health deteriorated.  As mentioned in other posts, I have a calling to many places in my life but not everyone can understand a calling and many times this is a road I walk alone.  A couple months ago I felt very torn, should I fly and be that butterfly I have always felt closest to or should I try to keep those wings tied for longer and if longer, till when?  This is when I had my dream.  I seem always torn between the tall trees of the forest or the dry lands of the desert.  In this dream I was living in the forest on many acres of land.  I had moved to a small house on some acreage in CO.  As I pulled up to this house in an old pick up, down a long wooded driveway in front of the house was a huge tree.  Mesmerized, starring into this tree I noticed it move towards the truck and the leaves of the tree took shape of my grandma’s face.  All I could see was her.  She smiled with this look of compassion that I will never forget.  Her smile said a million words to me and provided the answer I sought.  All I could hear was “it’s ok, they will understand.  Within time, they will all understand.”  Her love was just that – love.  In it’s purest form.  When I communicate with spirit there are times I have had the opportunity to see “love” in this form.  It’s the most beautiful thing.  Unbiased, pure white light.  This love radiates from them like the glow of the rising morning sun.


Light Reading – Not literally

Less than two months ago I purchased a book a friend recommended.  It’s called “change your Aura, change your life.”  She thought it would help teach me to use the light for clearer communication.  I’m about halfway through, a little less.  Since starting the book I noticed some major changes to the ways I communicate with spirit.  I have only seen Aura’s on others and myself under five times.  Aura’s aren’t common for me.  Seeing spirit hearing spirit and feeling both spirit and other people’s feelings and ailments is common.

The way this book helped me is in associating the different colors and lights with different meanings.  Instead of feeling constantly overwhelmed by spirit there seems to be a more clear communication coming in using light.  Some meanings match the meanings in the book but others meanings were specific for what I associate a color with.  For example, a green light – it’s associated with nature.  However I associate the green light not only with nature but also the connection one has to their roots.  Like an ancestry connection because just as roots of a plant we are connected to our own roots within nature.

I see light now in a whole new “light” so to speak.  Before while speaking with someone I may see spirit, orbs, stars or other signs but now I also will see rays of light.  It’s very different.  The rays bring a whole new level of communication to me.  The color and sometimes the shape tell me about the person along with my normal “spirit notifications.”  One of the colors that seems to be my color is violet.  I see violet allot.  Many times when I am tuning  in.  I will see orbs, blobs, outlines, forms and rays.