Tag Archives: Meditation

A student

I’ve humbly started this journey again of trying to continue down my spiritual path.  My soul keeps urging me to continue.  In doing so, I’ve come to terms with my experiences in my life and trying to understand where I’m at today.

It seems the majority of life I’ve been dabbling between the astral plane and the earthy plane.  For some reason I tend to dip into the astral plane which is where my medium experiences are coming from.  But this is not a place where I want to spend my time, I want to evolve to the next phase of life.  The astral plane is kind of like drinking the cool-aide.  You have to be careful you don’t get sucked in.  It’s funny, I always thought these experiences made me different/not fit in.  But that’s not the case, we will all tap into this plane at some point during our journey.  I don’t want these experiences to define me.

I’ve had a couple visitations with my spirit guides as an adult and angels when I was little.  It’s taken me many years to understand these experiences.  I’m at the point where I feel I’m ready for a teacher.  I’m continuing to work with the light through mediation and prayer but I know I could benefit from having a teacher.  Until that point I’m going to continue teaching myself.


The start of my second journey

I have been going through this amazing journey within the past few months.  It’s been the second spiritual journey of a lifetime.

Things have never made so much sense.  When we take off our lenses we realize how this world is nothing what it seems.  We are so caught up in the frame of the paintings but don’t take time to understand the paintings.  We are confused, as people.  We are lost.  We lost ourselves a long time ago.  We have no feeling, accountability, we have lost so much compassion and love.  We are brainwashed to think we need all this stuff, we need a title, we need to be successful.  In the end, we have all these problems, broken relationships, worry, stress, bills and we look to see whats wrong with us.  We forget that we are these beautiful spiritual beings.  Created by a God greater then any of our minds can comprehend.  We forget how we are all brothers and sisters with the same father.  How we share this journey together.  How each one of us have special gifts and how much we have grown away from our spiritual self.  These world is like an interactive realm where we are tested, we are blessed to be apart of this life.  But what do we do with it?  What good, what greatness can we do to help others.  How many times has our anger drew lines between us, who have we become.  We have forgotten who we are and why we are here.

And he shed his light

And when the living creatures went, the wheels went beside them; and when the living creatures rose from the earth, the wheels rose. Wherever the spirit wanted to go, they went, and the wheels rose along with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. When those went, these went; and when those stood, these stood; and when those rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. Over the heads of the living creatures there was the likeness of an expanse, shining like awe-inspiring crystal, spread out above their heads. Ezekiel 1:19-22 ESV

To me, the light is the most beautiful part of seeing. It’s also one of the most confusing gifts to me because unlike spirit I do not have someone directly feeding me a message. I am still learning in great depth how to understand what I see better. When all is silent, I can communicate and understand what the light is showing but when I am trying to block it out or very busy it comes across as confusing and it can take me a while to decipher what I am seeing.

I went to a church service and there was a man who ran a church in Mexico visiting. When he was speaking to the people about his works I seen an Indigo light all around him. He was covered by this light and I seen no other color besides it as it was so dominant. It wasn’t until today that I started reading on the Indigo light. I have seen Indigo before, but not in any form like this and normally I will see it blended with other colors. This man was living within the light if that makes any sense. He was working within Gods light and following his own. He runs an orphanage for about 40 children out of Mexico providing them with 3 meals a day and a warm place to sleep. He also runs a church there as well.

What exactly does the Indigo light mean? What can it tell us about a person. This is the fascinating part. Let me break down a Indigo person~

Physical Deep body feelings, sensitive physical body, meditative, androgynous
Emotional Deep inner feelings, sensitivity, integrity, meditative awareness, introverted, androgynous, authenticity
Mental Aware, bright, artistic, clarity, creative and independent, intuition, inner knowing, higher mind, dedication.
Spiritual Higher knowledge, truth, spiritual, universal love, awareness and consciousness, experience inner planes of existence
Motivation Follow their higher truth and love and their inner guidance
Mission / Vision Spiritual growth, love and service, express their inner knowing
Growth Inner awareness, intuitive changes, guided by their heart-intuition
Exercise Walking, dancing, swimming, meditative, spiritual exercises
Recharge Battery Meditation, music, create own space, connect with God-Inner Self
Communication Soft, female voice with feeling, intuitive and inner communication
Interaction Considerate, careful, sensitive and divine action
Relationships Caring, depth, heartfelt, soul-to-soul, spiritual connections
Social, Friends Follow inner rules, not societies, few close friends
Money Clear concept, but unimportant, follow higher values and truth
Success Connection to God and Higher Self, live , and spirituality on earth
Occupation Helping others, live in harmony with their higher beliefs and truth
Career Spiritual healer, teacher, musician, artist, social worker, writer

Indigo people are pretty much walking God’s path that he set for them. It was truly amazing to be able to see someone beaming this light so vibrantly and so involved in helping children and teaching them. These are the types of people we should be learning from.

“Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever. Daniel 12:3

Continuing forward

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It’s been over 6 months, and I still find myself feeling lost in terms missing my beloved Mallow & Ollie. Everyday I wake a little bigger. Every moment in my day is filled with a reminder that I am caring for two. I couldn’t be happier about having a baby! A part of me wonders though if that hole will ever be filled where Mallow & Ollie are. I wonder if a baby fills all those empty areas and you feel pain no longer. As a new mom, I have no insight to this. But I do know my mom always had a beloved cat while pregnant, raising us and to this day.

It’s hard to explain what makes some animals feel more meaningful then others. For me, it’s intense. Mallow would see what I see. I would watch him looking at spirit when I would look at spirit. I seen him react to voices & negative presences. I felt like I finally had a friend that understood me after 30 years. His persistence to love kept me from clamming up and closing myself out from the world when I wanted to shut others out because I felt they didn’t understand. His neediness kept me on my toes, waking early and chasing the sunrise. And I always had someone waiting for me to come home everytime I left. my struggles without him have been kept private for a while some days are harder then others.

I know my child is special and when I say special I am saying that I feel she will be in tune like her mommy. But I long to raise this little one how I was raised. With love from family, friends and pets. I can tell by what I see when I communicate with her that there is something amazing about her. And I know god gave her to me for a reason. Having a cat helped me cope with all of my differences when I was a little girl. That and nature. I spent a significant amount of time in nature.

I feel like I have everything anyone could ever ask for. A good job, the ability to see and feel, a great family, a nice roof over my head and the blessing of a baby. Yet I still find myself in moments of sadness about Mallow & Ollie. I miss so much having that love from them. And wonder in my heart if things could ever be different so I could have a companion again. It’s amazing how many lives a pet can touch. My mom has cried so many times watching me deal with the loss and go through the phases and my father just wants to fix it.

I wonder in my heart, how many people have had spiritual connections with pets or animals. Mallow always had a light around him. Purple was very distinct in his aura.

I hope in life, more people can learn to understand the spiritual connection of an animal and why God put them on this earth with us.

Hanna Rose


A baby girl, Over 21 weeks moves in my tummy. I feel her kicks, twirls and movements now. But with each kick and each day my growing anxiety about the changes going on and going to take place continue to grow. I always said that if I had a girl, she would be like me. Meaning she would see & feel as I do. So many prayers I was thankful for a baby but hoped she would be normal (meaning not like me). How I am is passed down the line daughter to daughter in my family. I have the gift stronger then anyone else so I assumed if I had a girl she would have it even stronger. Naturally I feared this.

As the days move forward I continue trying to move naturally with it. Into motherhood. But I have so many fears. With the past few days I have tried to boil down my fears:
1.) hanna will be gifted like me – struggle as I did with it, deal with seclusion from others because of her differences and regret being my child.
2.) my birthing wishes will not be respected – When I am in pain and going through a large transition I have always needed separation time from others to go through the process of change. I have fears of the hospital room being crowded or even the hospital with family & friends while I am going through this huge transition when all I want is to go through it my own way. This thought renders me to tears.
3.) The pain and process of my birthing will be judged – When I am in pain I tend to make noises. I can’t imagine the noises I will make when going through labors. The cries, yells from pain and the birth itself. Being split open and literally having your inside’s pushed out. All I will be focused on is giving up a part of myself and moving into the transition of bearing a child using the fire from within. I don’t want to think about how I will look and sound. I don’t want anyone in the room or even near it except for my husband and even him I worry having to witness this.

I don’t worry whether or not I can handle the pain, I feel i will be guided in how to handle that during birth. I don’t worry about being a good mother, I know like everything in life – I will not fail and will continue to do my best. I don’t worry about how this will change my life, I feel everything will come naturally. It’s these three main issues.

I wonder how many mothers are out there who are psychic, mediums, empaths or clairvoyants and how their journey and children were affected by it.
I have never been good at asking for help. And I fear any help I ask from others on these three things will only make matters more complicated thus even more difficult on me.

Giving birth is a very spiritual transition. As a woman, we go through this spiritual journey, rendering ourselves for the health of our off-spring. I don’t think any words can be used to describe this emotional, physical and psychological journey that we must endure to give birth to life. Every woman’s journey is so different from the next but I wonder how it is for someone who is like me. Being so open spiritually.

Grandpa’s presence

Over a year ago I was in another relationship with someone who had allot of spirit attached to them. There are a variety of reasons why some people have more spirit attached to them while other have a few. This particular individual had spirit attached to him because of his roots, because of unfinished business and because he had a calling that he had not risen to. Some people want to know everything around them but there comes a point of time where in a relationship with someone who sees, such as myself that this can lead to complications.

During the time I was with my ex I seen his grandpa, his grandpa’s brother, his grandma, and several natives behind him. The first one to step forward was his grandfather. A really nice man. He appeared to my left facing the direction of east. I didn’t know the significance at the time but the more visitors I had, the more I learned that when I am with someone their spirits always appear to me in the direction to the east when conveying as message. The Eagle is the direction of the east and the eagle is the animal I feel closest to. They always appear in my life.
Back to his grandfather…. He stood crouched down a bit and had dark skin. He had a close association to my ex but he felt comfortable to talk to woman so he came to me. After I communicated this to my ex, I learned that his grandfather had to walk with a cane which is why he was crouched and when I asked about his skin he said he was not light-colored like my ex. He had the darker tone skin. His grandfather continued coming to me. He was worried about his wife who was still alive and also was concerned over some family politics. We were together for maybe 6 months and during that whole time his grandfather continued coming forward. I would communicate these messages to my ex who would then call his grandma and communicate them to her. She missed him dearly. I really liked his grandfather. It’s not that he was a very personable man, he was just respectable. It’s kind of like a man of few words sort of thing. You always respect those folks because they choose their words so carefully. When I would talk to my ex, his grandfather would sometimes step forward if there was something to be added.

It’s always interesting how close our family is even after they pass. When given the opportunity I always remind people that their loved ones are still here, still a soul but just that they have moved on past life as we know it.

What do emotions look like?

“I had a rough morning” I suppose we all have our ways of wording events that created feelings thus as a result.
I am one of those people who doesn’t get really mad easily. In fact, I try not to let such emotions run my life because at the end of the day, they are just that…. emotions.
For the first time in a very long time I was extremely angry the other day. When I began elevating this anger and allowing it to take control the strangest thing happened. I seen this anger! The anger manifested itself in a silver light but not the normal lovely shinning silver light I am used to seeing. A harsh silver lighting that actually stressed my eyes when looking at it. It was ugly and consuming. All I could see was this light coming from everywhere. All directions. I took out my phone and I couldn’t even read the keyboard. This silver was so shinny it was reflective. Perhaps this energy was reflecting itself back to me so I could feel directly what I was putting out. I have never seen anything like it and to see that it come from me, from my own doing, was hard to digest.
What does emotions look like? If you talk to some clairvoyant’s they may describe a color chart. In which all the colors have the same meaning. I myself do not believe this applies to everyone. For me, there has never been a manual to follow.
I believe if you work with the light it will directly speak in a language that you understand. I have never found the light mis-leading infact, anytime I have asked for guidance I have always been answered with love and grace.
Some examples of colors with specific meanings for me are as follows~ Pink – I see pink when there is allot of love. I will see it coming from a person and also around their center. Avocado green – this is not a pleasant color to see. I see this color when someone is so bogged down with stress that the person is actually beginning to get separated from their true nature due to stress. I will see a large white ball of light above some people when they are praying and have connected through prayer to their past loved ones. The ball of light signifies their loved ones present through prayer. This is not one I see often.
There is so much energy that we put out into the world everyday. With this said, t’s important to try to release the most positive and enlightening energy.
As I always say, each day we wake with a blank canvas and we are the artist who choose what colors to paint the day with.