Tag Archives: medicine

The start of my second journey

I have been going through this amazing journey within the past few months.  It’s been the second spiritual journey of a lifetime.

Things have never made so much sense.  When we take off our lenses we realize how this world is nothing what it seems.  We are so caught up in the frame of the paintings but don’t take time to understand the paintings.  We are confused, as people.  We are lost.  We lost ourselves a long time ago.  We have no feeling, accountability, we have lost so much compassion and love.  We are brainwashed to think we need all this stuff, we need a title, we need to be successful.  In the end, we have all these problems, broken relationships, worry, stress, bills and we look to see whats wrong with us.  We forget that we are these beautiful spiritual beings.  Created by a God greater then any of our minds can comprehend.  We forget how we are all brothers and sisters with the same father.  How we share this journey together.  How each one of us have special gifts and how much we have grown away from our spiritual self.  These world is like an interactive realm where we are tested, we are blessed to be apart of this life.  But what do we do with it?  What good, what greatness can we do to help others.  How many times has our anger drew lines between us, who have we become.  We have forgotten who we are and why we are here.


My life path

Those who know me best know how seriously I take gardening. Over the past six months, I have connected again with my roots and sunk my fingers in the soil of mother earth. Everything living, is like a gift and to be apart of it creates a divine connection between humans and spirit. At times I believe that if many understood the connection between all living things such as plants and spirit, they would have the answer to life in the palm of their hands. However this is not the case, atleast not with most people.

Some plants are known as medicines and for some reason this one particular plant or medicine was in my dream.

A few weeks ago I had this dream that didn’t really feel like a dream but I was not in this realm. I remember being outside somewhere. The terrain was dry, similar to the desert and I was walking along the road. This road looked familiar. Like one I had traveled down before. This road in my dream was supposed to signify my life path and although it had a direction already assigned to it, it seemed to be directed by someone or something else. I became determined to try to understand who was directing my life path. So I began searching along this road. The road turned from charcoal colors to colors of black and moved like waves in the ocean. I seen a figure or the outline of one and I knew this was the person so I began walking closer. As I got closer I realized this was not a person at all but a tall cacti. As I came up I seen the eyes, like waves of black oceans. “You have to listen and I’ll tell you where to go.” I heard. Telepathically I knew that this being was here to tell me my life path was changing. I woke.

Sometimes we just don’t have all the answers. Spirit or no spirit.
I’m unsure of the meaning behind this or why I had this dream/vision out of the blue. I am still trying to understand

“Thou shalt not kill”


what really does this mean? When I ask that question what I’m really wondering is if this is just applied to humans or animals as well? Many vegetarians may agree that its applied to both. I’d like to better understand spirituality and vegetarianism.

In December 2012 my life was going through a major change. A change that I couldn’t even begin to be able to comprehend. My world felt like it was flipped upside down. For years and years I had been trying to live with ear muffs on. Denying the things I felt. At my lowest moments I was praying every night asking for someone to make the things I saw and felt stop (in terms of spirit). They never did stop but I did find somewhat of a way of coping. It was called lying. I would lie to myself everyday pretending that I didn’t “feel”, “see” or “know.”

All that changed when December 2012 rolled in. The volume increased fiercely. I could no longer deny anything. I had spirits coming to me daily. I had strong empath skills developing and my psychic skills were amplified. I saw spirit from everything, plants, animals, people. Everything began to move with this divine harmony in life. It was humbling to see this.

I revisit that month in my mind often because these changes I was going through effected so many areas of my life that I find it fascinating.
I no longer wanted to eat meat. I was eating meat every other day or more before this. Infact, I made a conscious point of doing it as I had an iron issue.
Giving it up was “different.” The first week or so I was disgusted by it. This came out of nowhere but as time progressed I just had this feeling of simply “not wanting it.” I figured, “I’ll just eat it whenever I feel like it again.” Going on 9 months here, I still haven’t felt like eating it. It puzzles me how my body could just have no urge for something it was trained to like and digest in these 29 years.

What did it all mean? Is there a connection between spiritual advancement and vegetarianism?

For a full month – all of January 2013 I ate salads galore. I felt like I couldn’t get enough vegetables in. It almost felt like I was replenishing after a fast or something. I felt good as I still had energy and my stomach issues disappeared. Above all, my gifts continued to evolve. Today, its a night and day difference in comparison from where I was in December. It doesn’t feel as a result of a change of diet. Does this make sense? It’s like when you are getting ready to move into a nicer home and you go though all your things to donate the items you no longer need. This is my relationship to meat. It’s simply just not needed anymore.

I wonder if this “meat” change and the spiritual change I was going through are connected? I have read a few articles online that some folks say “giving up meat” is part of a spiritual process of evolving. I found this very interesting and couldn’t help but wonder if this could have been applied to myself.

My second experiment – healing loved ones


Between yesterday and today I have been trying a second experiment using healing.

Yesterday morning I did some lightwork again on my mother without her knowing. Let me first say, I ask permission from her highers to perform the work on her before I begin. Once I receive the ok, I proceed with calling down the light.

When I use the word “highers” I am referring to these higher beings who help assist in the lightwork process. They are not guardian angels or dead people, they work with each individuals light specifically. In this case, I was communicating with my mothers highers.

Yesterday morning I focused on doing a thorough cleansing of her aura and calling on light that I thought would help her mood and help her on more of a emotional level. I guess as a daughter, we always want out mothers to be happy so naturally I thought this best. It was very interesting. Her highers opened up communication with me and told me that my mother had been praying. I could “hear” her praying in her voice for the family. Most specifically my father. I could also physically feel them with me as I was working with the light to help her.

Afterwords, I sent her e-mail as I do everyday and asked how she was doing. She said she felt good mentally but was having issues with her energy. She felt bogged down. I felt the lightwork worked on a minimal level. I know these things take months to work. But I did see my mother as a person with very minimal issues so therefore I knew she had the capability to feel the results faster then others.

Even though I woke up a little under the weather – sore throat started. This morning I decided to try another route. The whole time I have been doing what “I” feel best for her. And this is based off a daughters opinion which honestly shouldn’t count. I performed my lightwork on myself but when I finished I asked once again for permission to work on my mother. After her highers agreed I spoke to them advising them of my mothers issue’s regarding physical energy. I know there is a mind – body connection but I also knew that I myself did not feel qualified to determine what was best for her. I asked for their guidance instead. Right away they responded and said I needed to work on her hermetic center. Ok, no problem I thought and I began. It didn’t take long for me to see she had some dark clouds around this center.

The hermetic center is responsible for all your activities in life. When its clouded, its hard to have time to “create” in our lives because we are being bogged down by too many earthy activities. It can feel like your putting out fires most of the time. So I worked on clearing the clouds away.

I next told her highers that I wasn’t sure which ray to use on her. I asked for direction. I seen some purple and silver stars on the page next to a ray responsible for uplifting. Also known as the “white light.” The purple and silver stars are one of the ways spirit communicates with me. This is very common. I was pleased with their choice. The white light is used to uplift and being the holy vibration to this center as you often feel disconnected from this light as a result of too much earthy activities. As I did this, I felt someone holding my hand so I knew I was getting assistance from her highers with throughout this process.

I e-mailed her after to fess about about the experiment and ask her in more detail about how she was feeling physically & mentally.

She told me she felt great but woke up with a sore throat. This was strange as I too woke up with a sore throat and I hadn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I also work from home so its rare I catch anything virus related. She also said she felt a sense of peace. Even though she did have the sore throat she said she felt like everything was just very minimal and she just went through the motions of her work day without feeling overwhelmed.

She seemed to believe very firmly that the life did help her, infact she felt extremely blessed to hear about the guidance from her highers. As I walk along through my journey, I can see the people around me blossoming like a flower. My mothers light has grown so much brighter and will continue as she is so full of love.

For every good thing we do, our light in our aura becomes brighter. Remember that. Life is truly beautiful!



While working on my lightwork yesterday something very disturbing happened. I seen a demonic force clear as day pull my energy straight from me. I quickly snapped out of my meditation. I felt all my energy sucked from me and even found it challenging to pick myself up from laying down. How could this of happened I thought to myself. I reached for my book on lightwork which is practically a bible for me and began restlessly flipping through the pages. It was then I realized that I hadn’t been doing anything for protection both before and after calling down the light. This “being” was extremely nasty and I had to do a full cleansing to rid myself of this.

So today rolls around and I feel completely off all day. Just not myself at all. Extremely emotional!

I decided to really focus on my lightwork for a good portion of the morning. This time I made sure that I followed all the proper steps before and after calling down the light. After starting my lightwork, I felt a series of sensations. My hair began to feel as if it were standing straight up on my head. I felt spirit all around me (good spirits) and could see this visually. I also heard some faint voices but couldn’t translate them. I found myself stopping many times trying to understand why I was being interrupted. I felt better emotionally after but the moment I finished I realized that I had this strong tingling sensation in my fingers. I sat down in my bedroom and looked at my hands, puzzled. They certainly looked normal but it really felt like I had stuck my fingers in a light socket. I could feel this sensation right at the tips. What was this? I don’t recall ever experiencing something like this before. I moved my hands up and down above my body (a few inches or so) and I could feel some sort of energy from my hands on my body even though my hands were not touching my body. At a loss for answers, I took to the internet. Perhaps someone else has experienced this before? I didn’t find too much but what I did find is that most energy workers that work with healing feel sensations in their hands while working with energy. I’m a manager for a fortune 500 company. This was definitely not something I had worked with before. I am connected with spirit on multiple levels but this is not something I’m familiar with.

I seem to have no direction. No teachers, guidance or anything. At times I feel like this lone person just trying to figure it out, what all this means. I would love to connect with someone who could help teach me something or anything fro that matter about these things that I experience. I see many charging for guidance and I realize in this world not many things are free but even then I’m uncertain if they can help.

I do know this, regardless of what I am doing now in my life – I am supposed to help people. Ever since I was a little girl I knew that in this lifetime, I have a responsibility and it would involve helping people.

Unresolved issues ~

Having enough of the headbutting from my little guy (Birman cat), I stumbled out of bed at approximately 5:22 am this morning.  I wake up everyday at the same time by the minute.  Still in zombie form, fixing my pajama’s and adjusting my hair I began making my way into the kitchen.  As I reached for the fancy feast, I felt a presence behind me sitting in the chair.  Spirit….. his larger body and layered attire stuffed into the chair with something laying across his lap. He was native, broad build and I knew exactly who he was.  He has come to me before and also to my mother through a dream. His expression was very stern but behind that was disappointment and worry. He was waiting, showing me that he waiting for me to do something…


There are many people in this world who hide behind the medicine.  They are very chameleon like, changing form with the motion of the wind.  But they never grow any roots to feel the earth within them to become one with the walks of life. They stand behind people of spirituality and faith claiming to have healing gifts then suppress others. Almost like a juicer.  I’ve heard many others say they help others see the light but they claim no responsibility to anything or anybody.  In-fact, they take part of it.

To our ancestors, this is saddening and its a misuse of the medicine.  Spirit doesn’t care what your responsibility is or isn’t.  If they know you can make a difference, they will come to you and this will become your responsibility.

What did this spirit want me to do?  The right thing.  To bring attention to the right people concerning the misuse and misrepresentation of sacred practices.  

As I’ve said before and you should be able to tell by my picture, I am not of indigenous descent.  My lineage history has been proven difficult.  The closest thing I got to indigenous in my blood is a rumor passed down through generation.  When I was little and starting communicating with the Native spirits which came before me I was never surprised by their skin color.  The truth is, I was so small – I didn’t know the difference.  I noticed their skin tone and hair dark but as a little girl I never associated skin color with classification of people.  This I learned through school in my history books compliments of our educational system.  I was brought up by my family to believe there were always two kinds of people “good people” and “bad people.”  And it was only when I became older (in my 20’s) that I really began to scratch my head wondering, why are all three of my spiritual guides Native and why are over half of my spirit encounters with indigenous people.  When I thought about it today, I realized that for the most part indigenous spirits almost always show themselves to me in form while this isn’t usually the case with others.  For example, when I was speaking to a gal at the salon a few months back and her grandmother came through I did not see her grandmother or hear her grandmothers voice I was told the messages through my own voice and she was speaking through me to communicate with her granddaughter. This is one of the most common ways spirit communicates with me when I am out and about in public with people.  The indigenous spirits & my guides come to me when I am just doing my daily thing or speaking to someone who is indeed indigenous themselves or has a heavy connection.  It seems everyone I speak to has the same response regarding this “that’s weird,”  Is it really weird?  Or is it weird that we keep denying our inner connection to eachother and the earth.

My first experiment

Recently I had the pleasure of speaking with a contact from one of the Native American Church’s.  Of all the things he said one of them resonated with me deeply.  At some point during our hour and a half discussion he simply said “we have a saying for this. You are running from the medicine.”  I agreed and said “yes, I believe I am.” The roots of the discussion where geared towards acceptance, embracing and next steps.  Since this conversation last weekend, I have remembered those words everyday and have made a conscious effort to stop running.

One of the topics we spoke in more depth about was healing. I had received a message from spirit a few months back, I was very torn and embarrassed about what was communicated.  I was told I had healing hands.  I wasn’t sure what this meant and I convinced myself although-wise, saying that I was just like everyone else.  But honestly, that’s not what I heard.  I was told I had healing hands and I was supposed to help people.  To stop running, I need to be real with myself and I need to do what I am supposed to do during this lifetime.  This is one of the reasons I can’t ever except money for anything related to my gift.  It’s against what I have been shown personally by spirit.

So I decided to do an experiment. Really, if I have the ability to help people in another way besides delivering messages from spirit then I should be able to see it for myself.

If you have read my journal entries, you will have seen how close I am with my mother.  She is the only one in my family that knows the truth about me.  I sent her an e-mail this morning and asked her a small favor.  I said “next time you feel down in the dumps, stressed or whatever negative feeling you have – let me know.  Just send me a text or e-mail and say “moody.”  But you will have to let me know either around 6 am or by the early afternoon.”  She quickly replied back “moody.”  Go figure.  My intentions were, instead of doing light work on myself.  I would do it on my mother.  In case you don’t know what I mean by “light work” let me explain.  I call on certain rays to come within my aura.  Each ray has a different purpose.  Cleansing, higher divine, peace, alignment, self love, etc.  I do light work on myself twice a day and for me, its necessary because of how open I am.  As I call on each ray, I work it through the body – the heart, the mind, etc.  It’s a long process for me.  It takes atleast an hour.  But this is something that makes a night and day difference for me so I am committed to doing this on a daily basis.

If I can do light work on myself, then why can’t I do it on my mother?  I am connected to her, it should work right?

She couldn’t have any clue to anything although-wise the results could be miscued.  She sent me that “moody” email around 10:00 am so I decided to do my light work from 2:00 pm – 3:00 pm.  After 3:00 I sent her an e-mail saying “hey, hows your afternoon going?”  We e-mail each-other several times a day so no big deal.  She replied back “much better thanks, how are you?”  I quickly replied “much better?  Really?  I performed some healing on you.”  She called me after work wanting to know all the details.  Honestly, it was really interesting.  There were certain rays where spirit made an appearance.  This never happens when I do light work on myself.  For example, when I was working on the rose pink ray used for love, I seen spirit several times.  And when I used the white ray which is for higher divine I was interrupted as I was working with the light around her stomach and abdominal area.  I made sure to pass this along to my mother.  But both of us are aware of her digestive issue.  She has a very serious condition so perhaps this was tied to the issues I was having while working in this area.  What I also found unique is that after I finished the light work for her, I felt a burning sensation on my skin.  Almost like I was under a heat lamp for an extended period of time.  Afterwards I continued to see spirit for about an hour and a half as I spoke with my mother an hour and a half later and she was still feeling great.  According to her, she felt drained and a bit down until the afternoon when she felt much better out of no-where.  She mentioned even trying to eat lunch and still feeling “off” after.

Is it really possible to be able to “heal” or “help” people in this way?  I guess I will have to try this many more times to find out the answer.