Tag Archives: energy

A student

I’ve humbly started this journey again of trying to continue down my spiritual path.  My soul keeps urging me to continue.  In doing so, I’ve come to terms with my experiences in my life and trying to understand where I’m at today.

It seems the majority of life I’ve been dabbling between the astral plane and the earthy plane.  For some reason I tend to dip into the astral plane which is where my medium experiences are coming from.  But this is not a place where I want to spend my time, I want to evolve to the next phase of life.  The astral plane is kind of like drinking the cool-aide.  You have to be careful you don’t get sucked in.  It’s funny, I always thought these experiences made me different/not fit in.  But that’s not the case, we will all tap into this plane at some point during our journey.  I don’t want these experiences to define me.

I’ve had a couple visitations with my spirit guides as an adult and angels when I was little.  It’s taken me many years to understand these experiences.  I’m at the point where I feel I’m ready for a teacher.  I’m continuing to work with the light through mediation and prayer but I know I could benefit from having a teacher.  Until that point I’m going to continue teaching myself.


and they wondered if she was special too

Ever since conception I seen this silver light around my daughter. If you have followed my blog you already know this is partially how I discovered I was pregnant. There were times in my pregnancy that let my fear take ahold of me and I would place my hand on my stomach and see her light and know she was alright. It gave me faith when I needed it most. After she was born I continued to see this light. Its always around her.

In the beginning I thought this was a light of creation. A light that maybe babies have and their connection with mother. But after seeing this light around her constantly I realized a couple months ago it was her.
My mom wonders allot if my daughter is gifted. She has wondered this since finding out I was pregnant. Inside I have known for a while that she is. I don’t know how she is gifted but in my heart I know it for a fact. I hope that I will be able to help her when she discovers she is different. Perhaps my gifts are meant to help her.

When I was little I knew I was different for as long as I can remember.  It was a very matter of fact.  I remember as early as six talking to my mom about how I had to help people so I could be an angel.  I was obsessed with being an angel.  My mom thought it was abnormal but just blew it off as back in the 80’s talk like this was no common.  She realized as I got older that something was incredibly different and then mapped it all the way back to even her pregnancy with me being different.

When I was young I relied on mom 110%.  I felt she was the ONLY one that could ever understand me and believe me.  She was the only person I decided to open up to until I was 29.  She became more then a mother or a best friend she become part of me.  And I feel I am tied to her at a spiritual level.

I don’t know the path for my daughter but I do know that I will also be there to help her.  I have no idea why my family is the way we are but these different gifts have been passed down through generation.  To our knowledge mine is currently the most in depth one.  But I feel maybe my daughters will be stronger yet.

Silver aura’s are exceptionally gifted.  Only time will tell I suppose but my little silver flower continues to blossom with everyday.images

Fear of myself

I had a dream the other night that I was seeing this man.  He wasn’t a good spirit by any means.  I was scared of this being.

It took me almost a full day to understand this dream.

I’m 31 years old and my mother is still telling me to be myself.  She says “I would give allot to see even a glimpse of what you see, yet you still just want to fit in.  You will never fit in and the sooner you except yourself, the easier it will be on your daughter if you find out she’s special too.  Don’t you think God made you this way for a reason”  Needless to say, her visit made me reflect allot.

I hide behind an anonymous blog.  No name, no photo.  Nothing traceable.  Because of fear.  Fear is my worst enemy at all levels.  I fear that someone will find out my secrets, I fear that someone will think I’m nuts, I fear the things I see at times because I don’t understand them.  I don’t understand why I see the things I see.  I’m so focused on the “why am I seeing these things” that I miss the message.

I have all these church friends now who are just wonderful and every Sunday I obsess about trying to look perfect and fit in but I don’t need to “fit in.”  I am me and I’m different and no matter if my hair is perfect or not, I’m still going to be me.  Once I accept that I will feel better about the way I am and my relationships with others.  I still struggle to find one religion that sums up what I believe in and explains what I see everyday of my life.  My belief in god is extremely strong but its hard to pin myself to one religion.

I still have these urges all the time!  To travel.  To go to the southwest and live among the canyons.  To step out of my high-level job and follow my heart.  To align my life work to helping others.  How fulfilling this would be!  I wonder how great it would be to get to know others like myself.  I feel a little part of me dying as I try to mold myself into others who don’t see spirit, who don’t see aura’s and who don’t feel others emotions.  Just talking about it and not pretending its not there makes it better but to suppress it everyday is depressing.  I wonder how others deal in their lives.  Wives, mothers, friends, sisters.

Animal instincts


Having the gift of clairvoyance, energy is apart of my everyday. Whether I am inside, at the forest preserve, in a store, energy is always everywhere and ALWAYS very apparent to me. By reading my blog, I am sure you may have heard I am expecting my first child. Because of my mother instincts to protect, nourish and care for my baby the way I have been responding to energy has been much different from the past. In a way, I feel I have been trying to shun what I see, feel and experience because I want my child to have a normal childhood. None the less, it never works very well. And its most likely for the best because we should not try to change who we are. Which leads into my post, animal instincts.

Everyday I try to walk. Most days, I do five miles plus. And for me walking is not just a physical exercise its about meditation, prayer, openness and connecting. Exercise is just a plus that comes along with the act itself. When I walk I am in nature. By the woods, next to the water and seeing the prairies. It’s amazing in everyway. Animals are apart of every walk I go on. Whether its a fox, cat, raccoon, hawk, the list goes on. When I first start walking I am focused on my baby to be honest. I want to ensure I don’t feel any discomfort to I am very focused on my physical self versus my mental self. Within about 10 minutes, my focus has changed and I am either meditating, praying or just trying to connect to the environment around me.

Something I always have noticed is I see allot of the same animals along my path in the same places. Certain bunnies enjoy specific places and so on. So as I started to take notice of this, I also noticed something else. Those animals that I approach in the beginning when I start walking always are skid-dish and hide. So I decided to do an experiment. For those who work with energy you are already aware but for others who are learning, let me explain a little about energy and the human aura. The aura is the energy field around us. ALL living things have an energy field. People, animals, plants, ALL living things. There are no exceptions. When we connect with someone, an animal, god, prayer, you name it – our energy field changes. Just as in our own emotions. We can change our energy field and outside influences can have an effect on our energy.

Through my direct experience of working with energy (the light) through medication and prayer, I have seen its direct effect on myself and others and people/animals around those individuals. Once you start to fully understand this concept and become more aware of your energy and what your putting out, you will start to understand our connection as people with eachother and all living things more clearer.

Back to my experiment. As I began walking I remained in my normal mindset. Focused on my physical self mindset and the baby. Several bunnies sensed me coming and ran into the woods as I got continued closer on my walking path. As normal I began to drift into my meditation stage and then my prayer stage and back into my mediation stage. As I am walking I am conscious of my surroundings. But my mental self is at a different level. Not even a few minutes into this I start to notice the bunnies not moving. Just staying put and they seemed at ease. Not scared or skid-dish. As I made a circle in my walking, the same bunnies that ran from me when I first started walking didn’t run, they too – were calm and collect. I repeated this experiment over a 3 day period. Everyday the same results reflected.

What did this experiment reflect? That our energy changes so significantly through meditation and prayer that it significantly changes how other living things perceive us along with providing positive affects among ourselves. Imagine if we constantly worked on ourselves and our connection through prayer how all the people around us would be effected. I have done experiments where I have prayed and mediated for over 3 hour everyday for weeks and the people treated and reacted towards me was completely different. I literally had strangers walking up to me telling me their life stories and halfway through stopping and saying, “I have no idea why I am telling you this, I mean this isn’t really stuff you tell people you don’t know.” People seemed to be at a different level with me during my experiment. The aura’s colors change so beautifully through prayer its amazing to see the transformation occur.

The picture I included in this post are of some baby bunnies that my husband and I nursed back to health after discovering an abandoned nest in our yard and finding dead siblings due to the severe weather changes. Around week 18 or so of my pregnancy these little ones fell into our care and our hearts. The animal connection we have is truly amazing if we are connected and open to it.

Arrival of the Star of David aspect

Grand Teton

I’m unsure if anyone else felt some shifts in the air on Sunday (8-25) but I without a doubt did! I had prior plans with my mother. We had plans to go to a Lake near by where they have some shops and spend the day together. We parked the car and walked into the first store. I was feeling beyond overwhelmed by people’s energy, spirit and something felt off. I started to get a headache. I put my hand on a pressure point on my head and as my mother turned out I noticed her rubbing her head too. We looked at one another and she said I’m feeling overwhelmed I don’t know what it is. I couldn’t help but laugh at how in sync we were. We exited the store and hoped in the car deciding to go to a nursery instead. We kept it low key for the rest of the day and just spent time at the house visiting. Allot less of whelming! I couldn’t figure out what was off. I checked the moon calendar and nothing looked out of the ordinary.

In the evening I came home and got settled. I started to feel like I was on an emotional roller coaster. I just needed to sit and sort things out I thought. After thinking about it I recalled how everything in life – big changes and big shifts seemed to happen every 7 years for me. Now at 29, 22, 15, 8 & 2. As I kept going back I recalled age 2. I had this really moving vision or past memory that came to me. I was outside in our old house were we used to live and I was walking on some sort of rocks outside the door. Big rocks – just like outdoor flooring. I had my hair in pick-tails and I was wearing ruffle socks and little shoes. I was not the steadiest on my feet. I was holding a sort of cup or something in my right hand. My mom had shoulder length hair and was knelled down on the floor by the door saying my name twice. I could “feel” her voice and her energy was unlike anything I have ever felt. The “love” and the bond she had with me broke me down into tears. I have never felt someone else’s love especially my mothers. I have no children so I have never experienced the love a mother has for her child. I was sobbing. This opened up more visions and more intense feelings in connection to her.

After crying myself to sleep I woke up the next day to see what the heck was going on. What shifts were happening if any? Sure enough I found this page (http://www.mysticmamma.com/twin-star-of-david-star-tetrahedron-merkaba-august-25th-2013-peace-portal/) It seems the 25th was actually a day of significance.

Yesterday I was still feeling off all day. I was having sleeping issues and spirit seemed a bit louder then normal.

In the evening I received a call from a friend who lives in AZ. Actually a lady I met on an airplane. We became friends after I spoke to her regarding spirit.

She was really having a hard time. She sounded stressed and at her breaking point. We spoke for over 2 hours. During that time her grandma came through. I heard “Grandma” and then felt this stinging in my feet. It was an odd sensation. I knew her grandma had to have an issue with her feet. I nicely interrupted and asked her about a grandma that she was close to and passed away and mentioned this problem with the feet. Right away she perked up and said yes, that’s my Grandma so and so and she died of diabetes. She had a problem with her feet. Her grandma just wanted to comfort her by letting her know that she is there for her. She was a very sweet lady. I picked up on allot while on the phone with her and was able to help her from the guidance that spirit was providing. By the time it was time to go she sounded so much better. It was a night and day difference.

There is no better feeling in the world then the feeling of helping people. Whether its just making them smile or helping facilitate a message from spirit.

My second experiment – healing loved ones


Between yesterday and today I have been trying a second experiment using healing.

Yesterday morning I did some lightwork again on my mother without her knowing. Let me first say, I ask permission from her highers to perform the work on her before I begin. Once I receive the ok, I proceed with calling down the light.

When I use the word “highers” I am referring to these higher beings who help assist in the lightwork process. They are not guardian angels or dead people, they work with each individuals light specifically. In this case, I was communicating with my mothers highers.

Yesterday morning I focused on doing a thorough cleansing of her aura and calling on light that I thought would help her mood and help her on more of a emotional level. I guess as a daughter, we always want out mothers to be happy so naturally I thought this best. It was very interesting. Her highers opened up communication with me and told me that my mother had been praying. I could “hear” her praying in her voice for the family. Most specifically my father. I could also physically feel them with me as I was working with the light to help her.

Afterwords, I sent her e-mail as I do everyday and asked how she was doing. She said she felt good mentally but was having issues with her energy. She felt bogged down. I felt the lightwork worked on a minimal level. I know these things take months to work. But I did see my mother as a person with very minimal issues so therefore I knew she had the capability to feel the results faster then others.

Even though I woke up a little under the weather – sore throat started. This morning I decided to try another route. The whole time I have been doing what “I” feel best for her. And this is based off a daughters opinion which honestly shouldn’t count. I performed my lightwork on myself but when I finished I asked once again for permission to work on my mother. After her highers agreed I spoke to them advising them of my mothers issue’s regarding physical energy. I know there is a mind – body connection but I also knew that I myself did not feel qualified to determine what was best for her. I asked for their guidance instead. Right away they responded and said I needed to work on her hermetic center. Ok, no problem I thought and I began. It didn’t take long for me to see she had some dark clouds around this center.

The hermetic center is responsible for all your activities in life. When its clouded, its hard to have time to “create” in our lives because we are being bogged down by too many earthy activities. It can feel like your putting out fires most of the time. So I worked on clearing the clouds away.

I next told her highers that I wasn’t sure which ray to use on her. I asked for direction. I seen some purple and silver stars on the page next to a ray responsible for uplifting. Also known as the “white light.” The purple and silver stars are one of the ways spirit communicates with me. This is very common. I was pleased with their choice. The white light is used to uplift and being the holy vibration to this center as you often feel disconnected from this light as a result of too much earthy activities. As I did this, I felt someone holding my hand so I knew I was getting assistance from her highers with throughout this process.

I e-mailed her after to fess about about the experiment and ask her in more detail about how she was feeling physically & mentally.

She told me she felt great but woke up with a sore throat. This was strange as I too woke up with a sore throat and I hadn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I also work from home so its rare I catch anything virus related. She also said she felt a sense of peace. Even though she did have the sore throat she said she felt like everything was just very minimal and she just went through the motions of her work day without feeling overwhelmed.

She seemed to believe very firmly that the life did help her, infact she felt extremely blessed to hear about the guidance from her highers. As I walk along through my journey, I can see the people around me blossoming like a flower. My mothers light has grown so much brighter and will continue as she is so full of love.

For every good thing we do, our light in our aura becomes brighter. Remember that. Life is truly beautiful!



While working on my lightwork yesterday something very disturbing happened. I seen a demonic force clear as day pull my energy straight from me. I quickly snapped out of my meditation. I felt all my energy sucked from me and even found it challenging to pick myself up from laying down. How could this of happened I thought to myself. I reached for my book on lightwork which is practically a bible for me and began restlessly flipping through the pages. It was then I realized that I hadn’t been doing anything for protection both before and after calling down the light. This “being” was extremely nasty and I had to do a full cleansing to rid myself of this.

So today rolls around and I feel completely off all day. Just not myself at all. Extremely emotional!

I decided to really focus on my lightwork for a good portion of the morning. This time I made sure that I followed all the proper steps before and after calling down the light. After starting my lightwork, I felt a series of sensations. My hair began to feel as if it were standing straight up on my head. I felt spirit all around me (good spirits) and could see this visually. I also heard some faint voices but couldn’t translate them. I found myself stopping many times trying to understand why I was being interrupted. I felt better emotionally after but the moment I finished I realized that I had this strong tingling sensation in my fingers. I sat down in my bedroom and looked at my hands, puzzled. They certainly looked normal but it really felt like I had stuck my fingers in a light socket. I could feel this sensation right at the tips. What was this? I don’t recall ever experiencing something like this before. I moved my hands up and down above my body (a few inches or so) and I could feel some sort of energy from my hands on my body even though my hands were not touching my body. At a loss for answers, I took to the internet. Perhaps someone else has experienced this before? I didn’t find too much but what I did find is that most energy workers that work with healing feel sensations in their hands while working with energy. I’m a manager for a fortune 500 company. This was definitely not something I had worked with before. I am connected with spirit on multiple levels but this is not something I’m familiar with.

I seem to have no direction. No teachers, guidance or anything. At times I feel like this lone person just trying to figure it out, what all this means. I would love to connect with someone who could help teach me something or anything fro that matter about these things that I experience. I see many charging for guidance and I realize in this world not many things are free but even then I’m uncertain if they can help.

I do know this, regardless of what I am doing now in my life – I am supposed to help people. Ever since I was a little girl I knew that in this lifetime, I have a responsibility and it would involve helping people.