Tag Archives: dream

The start of my second journey

I have been going through this amazing journey within the past few months.  It’s been the second spiritual journey of a lifetime.

Things have never made so much sense.  When we take off our lenses we realize how this world is nothing what it seems.  We are so caught up in the frame of the paintings but don’t take time to understand the paintings.  We are confused, as people.  We are lost.  We lost ourselves a long time ago.  We have no feeling, accountability, we have lost so much compassion and love.  We are brainwashed to think we need all this stuff, we need a title, we need to be successful.  In the end, we have all these problems, broken relationships, worry, stress, bills and we look to see whats wrong with us.  We forget that we are these beautiful spiritual beings.  Created by a God greater then any of our minds can comprehend.  We forget how we are all brothers and sisters with the same father.  How we share this journey together.  How each one of us have special gifts and how much we have grown away from our spiritual self.  These world is like an interactive realm where we are tested, we are blessed to be apart of this life.  But what do we do with it?  What good, what greatness can we do to help others.  How many times has our anger drew lines between us, who have we become.  We have forgotten who we are and why we are here.


Fear of myself

I had a dream the other night that I was seeing this man.  He wasn’t a good spirit by any means.  I was scared of this being.

It took me almost a full day to understand this dream.

I’m 31 years old and my mother is still telling me to be myself.  She says “I would give allot to see even a glimpse of what you see, yet you still just want to fit in.  You will never fit in and the sooner you except yourself, the easier it will be on your daughter if you find out she’s special too.  Don’t you think God made you this way for a reason”  Needless to say, her visit made me reflect allot.

I hide behind an anonymous blog.  No name, no photo.  Nothing traceable.  Because of fear.  Fear is my worst enemy at all levels.  I fear that someone will find out my secrets, I fear that someone will think I’m nuts, I fear the things I see at times because I don’t understand them.  I don’t understand why I see the things I see.  I’m so focused on the “why am I seeing these things” that I miss the message.

I have all these church friends now who are just wonderful and every Sunday I obsess about trying to look perfect and fit in but I don’t need to “fit in.”  I am me and I’m different and no matter if my hair is perfect or not, I’m still going to be me.  Once I accept that I will feel better about the way I am and my relationships with others.  I still struggle to find one religion that sums up what I believe in and explains what I see everyday of my life.  My belief in god is extremely strong but its hard to pin myself to one religion.

I still have these urges all the time!  To travel.  To go to the southwest and live among the canyons.  To step out of my high-level job and follow my heart.  To align my life work to helping others.  How fulfilling this would be!  I wonder how great it would be to get to know others like myself.  I feel a little part of me dying as I try to mold myself into others who don’t see spirit, who don’t see aura’s and who don’t feel others emotions.  Just talking about it and not pretending its not there makes it better but to suppress it everyday is depressing.  I wonder how others deal in their lives.  Wives, mothers, friends, sisters.

My life path

Those who know me best know how seriously I take gardening. Over the past six months, I have connected again with my roots and sunk my fingers in the soil of mother earth. Everything living, is like a gift and to be apart of it creates a divine connection between humans and spirit. At times I believe that if many understood the connection between all living things such as plants and spirit, they would have the answer to life in the palm of their hands. However this is not the case, atleast not with most people.

Some plants are known as medicines and for some reason this one particular plant or medicine was in my dream.

A few weeks ago I had this dream that didn’t really feel like a dream but I was not in this realm. I remember being outside somewhere. The terrain was dry, similar to the desert and I was walking along the road. This road looked familiar. Like one I had traveled down before. This road in my dream was supposed to signify my life path and although it had a direction already assigned to it, it seemed to be directed by someone or something else. I became determined to try to understand who was directing my life path. So I began searching along this road. The road turned from charcoal colors to colors of black and moved like waves in the ocean. I seen a figure or the outline of one and I knew this was the person so I began walking closer. As I got closer I realized this was not a person at all but a tall cacti. As I came up I seen the eyes, like waves of black oceans. “You have to listen and I’ll tell you where to go.” I heard. Telepathically I knew that this being was here to tell me my life path was changing. I woke.

Sometimes we just don’t have all the answers. Spirit or no spirit.
I’m unsure of the meaning behind this or why I had this dream/vision out of the blue. I am still trying to understand

Grandma Mildred


When most of us think about guardian angels we think of a sort of angel watching over us. Almost like we are their assignment, to watch over us with care and guidance. What we may not realize is that some of our guardian angels are passed loved ones.
I have been trying to poke at my mothers ancestry side for years. And I have been very good at being unsuccessful. Not from a spiritual level but just trying to understand the family line. There was something special about that particular family line. Over the past few months I have begun learning why. As I mentioned in other blogs, my mother is open a bit and so is my grandma. Both has had spiritual encounters and do believe in spirit.
My mothers friend talked her into going to a group session with a medium who specialized in working with loved ones who has passed on. Right away the woman walked over to my mom who was just another number in the room of 12-15 people. “I am drawn to you for some reason and I am unsure why” she said. My mother smiled. Knowing she is obviously my mother and the light I shine, does not shine far from my loved ones. The woman proceeded to tell my mom about her grandma (my mothers, mothers, mother who’s name was Mildred.) She said that her grandma, although she passed on early from cancer and didn’t get much time to spend with my mother – felt close to my mother. She said she thought my mom was a beautiful soul and she was actually one of my moms guardian angels. She also said that she not only watched over her but also one of the children. The medium said, “you have two kids – one girl and one boy.” My mom smiled again and said “I have two girls.” See this is very common, whenever my mom has readings they mistaken me for a boy which is funny because I was supposed to be a boy. Doctors and everything told my mother, I was a boy until I was born and clearly they seen I was infact a girl.
The lady proceeded, your grandma watches over your daughter closely. My mom said “my older daughter you mean?” And the lady proceeded, “no your daughter with the big, curly hair.” My mother smiled and laughed. I am the only on in the family with big, curly, hair. “Tell her, she has to finish her book.” So my mother called me up and told me about Grandma Mildred. “Have you ever communicated with my grandma?” She asked. “I wouldn’t really say communicated but I have felt her at times and I both think and talk about her often.” I have never met her, she died before my time and the family doesn’t speak of her. I find myself asking allot of questions at times just to better understand the family dynamics. “Please talk to my grandma my mother said.” Her words were like the worst tear-jerker card I have ever read, they hit a note on my spine made my knees feel weak with sympathy. It’s not that I didn’t want to speak to grandma Mildred, its that I have never been told that its ok. And deep down I feared that I disappointed her. Grandma Mildred was telling this medium about my not wild side but more of a open minded sometimes risk taking side which was another reason she watched over me.
And so I decided to work first on accepting this.
A few nights ago I was at my parents visiting when I seen spirit. Not just any spirit. It was grandma Mildred. She was just making hr presence known and wanted to be present as we were spending family time together. I gave my mom a signal and continued on with the evening. I had company over that evening and upon getting home from my parents, I feel asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. A few hours later my company woke up hearing someone calling my name in the family room. It was a lady’s voice and they called me as if they were looking for me. I slept right through this and the person who heard this thought he was dreaming until he realized he was awake and I was still sleeping. After waking he told me what happened and I knew, it was grandma Mildred. This person who was here does not know anything about spirit and although he didn’t talk about it much, he did mention- that he never had anything like that happen before. He even got up and looked to see who was calling me and found nothing. My goal this week is to let Mildred know she is welcome to come forward and for me to work harder on accepting this part of me. It’s been the hardest challenge of my life thus far.

A new moon opens a new path


Yesterday was a new moon day. New moon days are always good days for me. Even if they don’t feel that way at the moment, there is always something life changing about them for me. Yesterday – last night proved to be no different.

I had another dream last night of a run-away. This one was different though. She was still alive. I was trying to help guide her. I woke up confused and went about my morning not thinking much of it.

I’m a part of a private community online that helps assist in animal communications. This page is run by a close friend of mine. Whether a pet is missing and someone needs help from beyond in locating them or trying to understand some behavioral issues from a pet. This community helps to assist in this process. There are tons of wonderful stories thus as a result. This page has been a great inspiration!

When I logged on this morning it really connected the dots for me. I have had a number of spirits who are children come to me and walk me through their life and death. I never really knew what to do with the information. How I can help both them and their loved ones so I ask for more guidance. A light bulb came on this morning as I realized a way of helping others by bridging the gap between the physical plane and spirit. I am going to create a private Facebook page that will be run by myself and other psychics, mediums and empaths to help people with their missing children. When I say a “private page” no one will be allowed to view the page and take part in it unless they are part of team running it or have a missing child. It will be spread by word of mouth.

If there is any psychics, mediums and empaths that is willing to join me in these efforts, please reach out to me.

Many blessings ~

The Eagle and the Canyon

This afternoon I had a dream that came to me under very unusual circumstances.  I didn’t believe this is just a message for myself so I have passed this onto a friend who is part of the Hopi tribe as it seemed to be meant for him/them.  In the middle of the day I felt exhausted so I lied down and passed out and had this very intense dream.
It involved a very large eagle and a very large body of water.  This body of water seemed to be between canyons but it did not remind me of the ocean.  This was very unique.  It was very deep which was unusual for the circumstances.  This eagle was taking people and bring them to the top the of the canyon and dropping them or “releasing them”.  “This was said to be the dance of the wild.”  In which the eagle and man had this agreement.  The person would say “one keenta, two keenta and three keenta (no idea what that means but I am sure I am spelling this wrong as all I know is that it was pronounced Keen ta or keen da) The saying of these words meant man was trying to communicate spiritually with the eagle and the waters and with the saying of these words, the person would be released from the feet of the eagle.  The expectation is that after falling into the deep, deep waters man would be able to swim and carry himself to the top.  The problem is, man could’t do this all the time.  So the eagle started taking woman and “releasing” them in this way on it’s own breaking the agreement with man.  On one occasion the eagle came for me and went to grab for me and my mother and father were hysterical and said I was not ready.  I knew in my heart I was ready and tried to open the door but my parents were broken inside about it and tried everything they could to keep this golden eagle from me.  They were successful.  There was an element of sacrifice to this.  This was the connection of man and specifically the eagle.  This was a bond and sacrifice. This is a chopped version of the two hour dream.
I’m not sure once again why this dream came to me.  Like most messages I can only assume this is meant to be passed on.  I am trying to look into a school, workshop or private consulting to gain a better understanding on working with spirit.  Perhaps when I do, these things will make more sense.  It’s easier said then done, trying to find someone to learn from.
Later in the evening I heard an owl outside my balcony and I live in pretty much the city.  I couldn’t see him but his calling was unmistakable.  Because of it’s association to the moon, the owl is thought to have great healing powers.  The owl was honored as the keeper of spirits who had passed from one plane to another.   Often myth indicates the owl accompanying a spirit to the underworld, winging it’s newly freed soul from the physical world into the realm of spirit.
It is also believed I read that the eagle is connected to the sun and the owl is connected to the moon.  It’s pretty synchronistic I would have both involved in my day.

Riding out the wave

One of the hardest questions for me personally to answer is “why do we do the things we do?”  Sometimes there is no “why” or “reason.”  There’s simply just an action “for the sake of riding out the wave.”  It simply just “is.”  We can’t always put our finger on it but we know that we must ride it out.  For years I had a series of signs that I needed to move to Phoenix AZ not just AZ but Phoenix.  Even looking in my rear-view mirror while living in the Midwest only to see the Painted Desert.  Some signs were more extreme than others.    In the past, when I was ready to move to AZ many people wanted to know why and to be honest even I didn’t really know “why” but I knew the wave  came years before  and would most likely come again next year so I needed to ride it out.  I think when we begin to try to put a scientific explanation behind everything especially thoughts and feelings, that’s when life gets complicated.

I had this dream a few months ago and it was about someone very dear to me.  My Grandma.  She past away many years ago and although she isn’t mentioned too much, I still bake with her old baking pans and think about her allot.  My Grandma had a huge heart of gold and allot of wisdom.  The way I view her is someone who wanted to do more in life then she had the opportunity to.  Her husband, my grandpa was controlling in their life together and when he passed she needed to rely on family as her health deteriorated.  As mentioned in other posts, I have a calling to many places in my life but not everyone can understand a calling and many times this is a road I walk alone.  A couple months ago I felt very torn, should I fly and be that butterfly I have always felt closest to or should I try to keep those wings tied for longer and if longer, till when?  This is when I had my dream.  I seem always torn between the tall trees of the forest or the dry lands of the desert.  In this dream I was living in the forest on many acres of land.  I had moved to a small house on some acreage in CO.  As I pulled up to this house in an old pick up, down a long wooded driveway in front of the house was a huge tree.  Mesmerized, starring into this tree I noticed it move towards the truck and the leaves of the tree took shape of my grandma’s face.  All I could see was her.  She smiled with this look of compassion that I will never forget.  Her smile said a million words to me and provided the answer I sought.  All I could hear was “it’s ok, they will understand.  Within time, they will all understand.”  Her love was just that – love.  In it’s purest form.  When I communicate with spirit there are times I have had the opportunity to see “love” in this form.  It’s the most beautiful thing.  Unbiased, pure white light.  This love radiates from them like the glow of the rising morning sun.