Tag Archives: aura

and they wondered if she was special too

Ever since conception I seen this silver light around my daughter. If you have followed my blog you already know this is partially how I discovered I was pregnant. There were times in my pregnancy that let my fear take ahold of me and I would place my hand on my stomach and see her light and know she was alright. It gave me faith when I needed it most. After she was born I continued to see this light. Its always around her.

In the beginning I thought this was a light of creation. A light that maybe babies have and their connection with mother. But after seeing this light around her constantly I realized a couple months ago it was her.
My mom wonders allot if my daughter is gifted. She has wondered this since finding out I was pregnant. Inside I have known for a while that she is. I don’t know how she is gifted but in my heart I know it for a fact. I hope that I will be able to help her when she discovers she is different. Perhaps my gifts are meant to help her.

When I was little I knew I was different for as long as I can remember.  It was a very matter of fact.  I remember as early as six talking to my mom about how I had to help people so I could be an angel.  I was obsessed with being an angel.  My mom thought it was abnormal but just blew it off as back in the 80’s talk like this was no common.  She realized as I got older that something was incredibly different and then mapped it all the way back to even her pregnancy with me being different.

When I was young I relied on mom 110%.  I felt she was the ONLY one that could ever understand me and believe me.  She was the only person I decided to open up to until I was 29.  She became more then a mother or a best friend she become part of me.  And I feel I am tied to her at a spiritual level.

I don’t know the path for my daughter but I do know that I will also be there to help her.  I have no idea why my family is the way we are but these different gifts have been passed down through generation.  To our knowledge mine is currently the most in depth one.  But I feel maybe my daughters will be stronger yet.

Silver aura’s are exceptionally gifted.  Only time will tell I suppose but my little silver flower continues to blossom with everyday.images


Fear of myself

I had a dream the other night that I was seeing this man.  He wasn’t a good spirit by any means.  I was scared of this being.

It took me almost a full day to understand this dream.

I’m 31 years old and my mother is still telling me to be myself.  She says “I would give allot to see even a glimpse of what you see, yet you still just want to fit in.  You will never fit in and the sooner you except yourself, the easier it will be on your daughter if you find out she’s special too.  Don’t you think God made you this way for a reason”  Needless to say, her visit made me reflect allot.

I hide behind an anonymous blog.  No name, no photo.  Nothing traceable.  Because of fear.  Fear is my worst enemy at all levels.  I fear that someone will find out my secrets, I fear that someone will think I’m nuts, I fear the things I see at times because I don’t understand them.  I don’t understand why I see the things I see.  I’m so focused on the “why am I seeing these things” that I miss the message.

I have all these church friends now who are just wonderful and every Sunday I obsess about trying to look perfect and fit in but I don’t need to “fit in.”  I am me and I’m different and no matter if my hair is perfect or not, I’m still going to be me.  Once I accept that I will feel better about the way I am and my relationships with others.  I still struggle to find one religion that sums up what I believe in and explains what I see everyday of my life.  My belief in god is extremely strong but its hard to pin myself to one religion.

I still have these urges all the time!  To travel.  To go to the southwest and live among the canyons.  To step out of my high-level job and follow my heart.  To align my life work to helping others.  How fulfilling this would be!  I wonder how great it would be to get to know others like myself.  I feel a little part of me dying as I try to mold myself into others who don’t see spirit, who don’t see aura’s and who don’t feel others emotions.  Just talking about it and not pretending its not there makes it better but to suppress it everyday is depressing.  I wonder how others deal in their lives.  Wives, mothers, friends, sisters.

And he shed his light

And when the living creatures went, the wheels went beside them; and when the living creatures rose from the earth, the wheels rose. Wherever the spirit wanted to go, they went, and the wheels rose along with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. When those went, these went; and when those stood, these stood; and when those rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. Over the heads of the living creatures there was the likeness of an expanse, shining like awe-inspiring crystal, spread out above their heads. Ezekiel 1:19-22 ESV

To me, the light is the most beautiful part of seeing. It’s also one of the most confusing gifts to me because unlike spirit I do not have someone directly feeding me a message. I am still learning in great depth how to understand what I see better. When all is silent, I can communicate and understand what the light is showing but when I am trying to block it out or very busy it comes across as confusing and it can take me a while to decipher what I am seeing.

I went to a church service and there was a man who ran a church in Mexico visiting. When he was speaking to the people about his works I seen an Indigo light all around him. He was covered by this light and I seen no other color besides it as it was so dominant. It wasn’t until today that I started reading on the Indigo light. I have seen Indigo before, but not in any form like this and normally I will see it blended with other colors. This man was living within the light if that makes any sense. He was working within Gods light and following his own. He runs an orphanage for about 40 children out of Mexico providing them with 3 meals a day and a warm place to sleep. He also runs a church there as well.

What exactly does the Indigo light mean? What can it tell us about a person. This is the fascinating part. Let me break down a Indigo person~

Physical Deep body feelings, sensitive physical body, meditative, androgynous
Emotional Deep inner feelings, sensitivity, integrity, meditative awareness, introverted, androgynous, authenticity
Mental Aware, bright, artistic, clarity, creative and independent, intuition, inner knowing, higher mind, dedication.
Spiritual Higher knowledge, truth, spiritual, universal love, awareness and consciousness, experience inner planes of existence
Motivation Follow their higher truth and love and their inner guidance
Mission / Vision Spiritual growth, love and service, express their inner knowing
Growth Inner awareness, intuitive changes, guided by their heart-intuition
Exercise Walking, dancing, swimming, meditative, spiritual exercises
Recharge Battery Meditation, music, create own space, connect with God-Inner Self
Communication Soft, female voice with feeling, intuitive and inner communication
Interaction Considerate, careful, sensitive and divine action
Relationships Caring, depth, heartfelt, soul-to-soul, spiritual connections
Social, Friends Follow inner rules, not societies, few close friends
Money Clear concept, but unimportant, follow higher values and truth
Success Connection to God and Higher Self, live , and spirituality on earth
Occupation Helping others, live in harmony with their higher beliefs and truth
Career Spiritual healer, teacher, musician, artist, social worker, writer

Indigo people are pretty much walking God’s path that he set for them. It was truly amazing to be able to see someone beaming this light so vibrantly and so involved in helping children and teaching them. These are the types of people we should be learning from.

“Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever. Daniel 12:3

Continuing forward

pic 3

It’s been over 6 months, and I still find myself feeling lost in terms missing my beloved Mallow & Ollie. Everyday I wake a little bigger. Every moment in my day is filled with a reminder that I am caring for two. I couldn’t be happier about having a baby! A part of me wonders though if that hole will ever be filled where Mallow & Ollie are. I wonder if a baby fills all those empty areas and you feel pain no longer. As a new mom, I have no insight to this. But I do know my mom always had a beloved cat while pregnant, raising us and to this day.

It’s hard to explain what makes some animals feel more meaningful then others. For me, it’s intense. Mallow would see what I see. I would watch him looking at spirit when I would look at spirit. I seen him react to voices & negative presences. I felt like I finally had a friend that understood me after 30 years. His persistence to love kept me from clamming up and closing myself out from the world when I wanted to shut others out because I felt they didn’t understand. His neediness kept me on my toes, waking early and chasing the sunrise. And I always had someone waiting for me to come home everytime I left. my struggles without him have been kept private for a while some days are harder then others.

I know my child is special and when I say special I am saying that I feel she will be in tune like her mommy. But I long to raise this little one how I was raised. With love from family, friends and pets. I can tell by what I see when I communicate with her that there is something amazing about her. And I know god gave her to me for a reason. Having a cat helped me cope with all of my differences when I was a little girl. That and nature. I spent a significant amount of time in nature.

I feel like I have everything anyone could ever ask for. A good job, the ability to see and feel, a great family, a nice roof over my head and the blessing of a baby. Yet I still find myself in moments of sadness about Mallow & Ollie. I miss so much having that love from them. And wonder in my heart if things could ever be different so I could have a companion again. It’s amazing how many lives a pet can touch. My mom has cried so many times watching me deal with the loss and go through the phases and my father just wants to fix it.

I wonder in my heart, how many people have had spiritual connections with pets or animals. Mallow always had a light around him. Purple was very distinct in his aura.

I hope in life, more people can learn to understand the spiritual connection of an animal and why God put them on this earth with us.

To see the light is to feel the light

There are no “normal” days for me. Infact I ponder these days what is actually considered “normal.” Is normal not feeling? Not seeing? As a child I always associated normal with a ability to blend in with others. To do as they do. See as they see. And so the dance continues. Growing older and having lived years with my differences, I have associated normal with Not feeling and not seeing “abnormalities.”

I recall starring apon my wooden cross as a kid praying to God begging him to make me normal. To make the things I see and feel stop. Tears flushing from my eyes. Growing older it resulted in lying to myself, telling myself I see and feel nothing. But the lies can’t last forever.

Being pregnant, and moving into motherhood there are no more lies. Everything is as raw as it gets. The comments people say, the size of your growing tummy, the ice cold beds you strap your feet into to get examined, but most of all – what you feel at the end of each day.

I know the relationship I have with my unborn child is not “normal.” When I want to see how many baby is doing I will put my hand on my stomach and then I see this silver ball/star. I know at that moment, its doing fine and I have no need to worry. When daddy is trying to communicate with it, I will see a light (a purple light) and I can then move his hand to where the baby is. When the doctor is looking up there… I can see the light again while she is looking to examine the uterus. When I am in a bad position I will see a dark gray ball/star and need to move so the baby is more comfortable. I can feel from my husbands touch how much love he has for me and the baby through his finger tips. Everyday I see my baby in light form and being the way I am, I am able to monitor its health and well being.

I went to church on Sunday with my husband. While listening to one of the pastors preach I always see spirit by him, walking, standing, in motion – etc. This is normal, however on Sunday I seen something I had never seen before. While he was preaching I was looking at layers of this aura, I seen his Causal body or Ketheric template but then I noticed something different behind him. Behind him stood a outline of a male, head and shoulders, atleast 1.5 feet taller then him and he is tall. Perfectly shaped. Like someone drew it. It was not the pastors aura it was actually something different. This was neither male nor female. It’s outline was an outline of a male but it actually looked to me as if it was conveying itself to be stronger then man. I saw this as some sort of guardian. It seemed this pastor was following his blue print of his calling but to such a high level and high connection that his guardian actually stood behind him. It was remarkable. I hadn’t seen this before in anyone.

As I sat there on Sunday seeing this I looked around, watching everyone listen to his words so graciously. I leaned back in my chair and looked down at my tummy. When my baby can hear (at 16 weeks) what will it feel to these these words. Will its communication with me change? I can’t help but wonder where the other moms like me are.

My second experiment – healing loved ones


Between yesterday and today I have been trying a second experiment using healing.

Yesterday morning I did some lightwork again on my mother without her knowing. Let me first say, I ask permission from her highers to perform the work on her before I begin. Once I receive the ok, I proceed with calling down the light.

When I use the word “highers” I am referring to these higher beings who help assist in the lightwork process. They are not guardian angels or dead people, they work with each individuals light specifically. In this case, I was communicating with my mothers highers.

Yesterday morning I focused on doing a thorough cleansing of her aura and calling on light that I thought would help her mood and help her on more of a emotional level. I guess as a daughter, we always want out mothers to be happy so naturally I thought this best. It was very interesting. Her highers opened up communication with me and told me that my mother had been praying. I could “hear” her praying in her voice for the family. Most specifically my father. I could also physically feel them with me as I was working with the light to help her.

Afterwords, I sent her e-mail as I do everyday and asked how she was doing. She said she felt good mentally but was having issues with her energy. She felt bogged down. I felt the lightwork worked on a minimal level. I know these things take months to work. But I did see my mother as a person with very minimal issues so therefore I knew she had the capability to feel the results faster then others.

Even though I woke up a little under the weather – sore throat started. This morning I decided to try another route. The whole time I have been doing what “I” feel best for her. And this is based off a daughters opinion which honestly shouldn’t count. I performed my lightwork on myself but when I finished I asked once again for permission to work on my mother. After her highers agreed I spoke to them advising them of my mothers issue’s regarding physical energy. I know there is a mind – body connection but I also knew that I myself did not feel qualified to determine what was best for her. I asked for their guidance instead. Right away they responded and said I needed to work on her hermetic center. Ok, no problem I thought and I began. It didn’t take long for me to see she had some dark clouds around this center.

The hermetic center is responsible for all your activities in life. When its clouded, its hard to have time to “create” in our lives because we are being bogged down by too many earthy activities. It can feel like your putting out fires most of the time. So I worked on clearing the clouds away.

I next told her highers that I wasn’t sure which ray to use on her. I asked for direction. I seen some purple and silver stars on the page next to a ray responsible for uplifting. Also known as the “white light.” The purple and silver stars are one of the ways spirit communicates with me. This is very common. I was pleased with their choice. The white light is used to uplift and being the holy vibration to this center as you often feel disconnected from this light as a result of too much earthy activities. As I did this, I felt someone holding my hand so I knew I was getting assistance from her highers with throughout this process.

I e-mailed her after to fess about about the experiment and ask her in more detail about how she was feeling physically & mentally.

She told me she felt great but woke up with a sore throat. This was strange as I too woke up with a sore throat and I hadn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I also work from home so its rare I catch anything virus related. She also said she felt a sense of peace. Even though she did have the sore throat she said she felt like everything was just very minimal and she just went through the motions of her work day without feeling overwhelmed.

She seemed to believe very firmly that the life did help her, infact she felt extremely blessed to hear about the guidance from her highers. As I walk along through my journey, I can see the people around me blossoming like a flower. My mothers light has grown so much brighter and will continue as she is so full of love.

For every good thing we do, our light in our aura becomes brighter. Remember that. Life is truly beautiful!

Birth Charts / Star Charts

How many of you have had your star charts although-wise known as birth charts worked up?

Recently I discovered how beneficial start charts/birth charts can be to people.  To have a deeper understanding of our-self can not only help us evolve but it can also help us to become a better person.

Most people just look at their sun sign and don’t realize that they have a moon sign, acceding sign, the houses.  All of these play an effect into who we are.

I started doing star charts earlier this year after a family member read mine she asked for the whole families to gain a better understand the family dynamics.  Since then I have done under a dozen.  Anyone from folks I met on a plan to the hair salon.  Most of the time after someone reads theirs and my interpretation I provide, they then seek to understand a loved one better.  Interpreting these and understanding the dynamics between multiple charts (multiple loved ones) can be difficult so I will help provide clarity and interpretations.

I truly love doing star charts, perhaps I feel I can use some of my gift while doing these but I think its also because I know with the information these provide, it can only help people understand themselves and others better.  These are about 10 plus pages, pretty in depth.