Tag Archives: astrology

and they wondered if she was special too

Ever since conception I seen this silver light around my daughter. If you have followed my blog you already know this is partially how I discovered I was pregnant. There were times in my pregnancy that let my fear take ahold of me and I would place my hand on my stomach and see her light and know she was alright. It gave me faith when I needed it most. After she was born I continued to see this light. Its always around her.

In the beginning I thought this was a light of creation. A light that maybe babies have and their connection with mother. But after seeing this light around her constantly I realized a couple months ago it was her.
My mom wonders allot if my daughter is gifted. She has wondered this since finding out I was pregnant. Inside I have known for a while that she is. I don’t know how she is gifted but in my heart I know it for a fact. I hope that I will be able to help her when she discovers she is different. Perhaps my gifts are meant to help her.

When I was little I knew I was different for as long as I can remember.  It was a very matter of fact.  I remember as early as six talking to my mom about how I had to help people so I could be an angel.  I was obsessed with being an angel.  My mom thought it was abnormal but just blew it off as back in the 80’s talk like this was no common.  She realized as I got older that something was incredibly different and then mapped it all the way back to even her pregnancy with me being different.

When I was young I relied on mom 110%.  I felt she was the ONLY one that could ever understand me and believe me.  She was the only person I decided to open up to until I was 29.  She became more then a mother or a best friend she become part of me.  And I feel I am tied to her at a spiritual level.

I don’t know the path for my daughter but I do know that I will also be there to help her.  I have no idea why my family is the way we are but these different gifts have been passed down through generation.  To our knowledge mine is currently the most in depth one.  But I feel maybe my daughters will be stronger yet.

Silver aura’s are exceptionally gifted.  Only time will tell I suppose but my little silver flower continues to blossom with everyday.images

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Fear of myself

I had a dream the other night that I was seeing this man.  He wasn’t a good spirit by any means.  I was scared of this being.

It took me almost a full day to understand this dream.

I’m 31 years old and my mother is still telling me to be myself.  She says “I would give allot to see even a glimpse of what you see, yet you still just want to fit in.  You will never fit in and the sooner you except yourself, the easier it will be on your daughter if you find out she’s special too.  Don’t you think God made you this way for a reason”  Needless to say, her visit made me reflect allot.

I hide behind an anonymous blog.  No name, no photo.  Nothing traceable.  Because of fear.  Fear is my worst enemy at all levels.  I fear that someone will find out my secrets, I fear that someone will think I’m nuts, I fear the things I see at times because I don’t understand them.  I don’t understand why I see the things I see.  I’m so focused on the “why am I seeing these things” that I miss the message.

I have all these church friends now who are just wonderful and every Sunday I obsess about trying to look perfect and fit in but I don’t need to “fit in.”  I am me and I’m different and no matter if my hair is perfect or not, I’m still going to be me.  Once I accept that I will feel better about the way I am and my relationships with others.  I still struggle to find one religion that sums up what I believe in and explains what I see everyday of my life.  My belief in god is extremely strong but its hard to pin myself to one religion.

I still have these urges all the time!  To travel.  To go to the southwest and live among the canyons.  To step out of my high-level job and follow my heart.  To align my life work to helping others.  How fulfilling this would be!  I wonder how great it would be to get to know others like myself.  I feel a little part of me dying as I try to mold myself into others who don’t see spirit, who don’t see aura’s and who don’t feel others emotions.  Just talking about it and not pretending its not there makes it better but to suppress it everyday is depressing.  I wonder how others deal in their lives.  Wives, mothers, friends, sisters.


a small white light

It was a “normal” evening like any other. I found myself on the couch with the computer on the cushion facing me. What a long work day. I leaned back to stretch and as I positioned myself again I seen there tiny ball of light. It was white and had a glow around it. So small. It was something spirit related but as I began to look into it more it disappeared as it flew into my stomach. Now I have seen allot and I mean ALLOT of strange things but this really made me stop in my tracks. There was something about this little ball of light. It seemed familiar. And I felt I had a connection with it but I had no idea how or why. it was the most beautiful ball of light I had ever seen. The fact that it disappeared into my stomach was odd to me. This doesn’t happen with spirit (in my experience).
Eventually I let it go but as the weeks went by I found myself again thinking about this tiny ball of light.
Last week I went grocery shopping. Stocking up on fresh cooking supplies and some favorites. I came home famished and began helping myself to pickles, sour cream and cold cut ham. If you have been following my blog, then you may see this as odd as I have been a vegan for some time.
Earlier this week my great grandma (my grandma’s mom)graced me with her presence again. But it was strange. She was pacing almost around the house all day. She was trying to tell me that she was watching over me and was here for me. I began to feel crowded as I knew my grandma was not the only spirit in the house as well. I could feel loved ones connected to my fiance. I feel confused but then again, I knew something was going on.
Ever since that ball of light I wondered if there was a chance that the spirit – the small ball of light was connected to me. And by connected to me, I mean literally. I thought maybe, I was pregnant.
After seeing grandma pacing. I knew I needed to take a test.
I found myself under the bright bathroom lights, peeing on a stick.
I put the stick on the bathroom lid behind me and considered myself crazy. “I’m not going to look at it, I’m not pregnant” I kept telling myself. But as I turned I took a big gulp as I watched one line appear strong and as the water moved further, there it was a second line. “What!” I held it closer to my eyes double checking – one line means not pregnant, two lines means pregnant…. Now I knew my grandma was here with me. Grandma comes when she feels she needs to be there for me.
which brings me to today. Somewhere between 4-6 weeks along.
What did this ball of light mean? What was it exactly? Was this another form of spirit trying to communicate with me to tell me I was pregnant? Did I see this light when the egg was implanting in my uterus? This is kind of a big deal because I felt like I had a bond somehow with this light. Is it possible I communicated with my unborn child? I have tons of questions. Amoungst all the new feelings coming over me about being mom I wonder how our relationship will be different because of my gift. Will I be able to communicate with him differently? Will he be like me? Will he have a gift?
I would give nearly anything in this world for this child to be born healthy. I can’t even describe the feeling but in my heart I already feel connected to it and I want to protect it with everything I have. Scared, excited, anxious… I feel it all.
I had dreams weeks ago of a little boy. Everything was white. I walked into a room and seen this toddler. He layed on the floor on his stomach. With his elbows holding up his head as he kicked his backlegs back and fourth while watching tv. As I entered the room he felt my presence. Not with his ears. He turned around and had this huge smile on his face. His smile was cheek to cheek and as I looked at him him I realized, he had my smile. And I smiled back. He had big eyes and although I seen myself in him, I also could see traits of someone else. He was beautiful. I woke up panicked and pulled on my fiances arm to wake him and tell him what I saw. As much as this may seem like a happy dream, to wake up and no longer see that face that you felt so connected to – felt like a punishment. It’s not easy to describe. This is not the first time I had seen this little boy either. When I first started speaking to my fiance I had a dream of delivering a baby in the hospital.

what does this all mean? How close to our future is our present? Do we have the ability to connect even with unborn children? My life is forever changed and only the future will hold the answers to all these questions.


Arrival of the Star of David aspect

Grand Teton

I’m unsure if anyone else felt some shifts in the air on Sunday (8-25) but I without a doubt did! I had prior plans with my mother. We had plans to go to a Lake near by where they have some shops and spend the day together. We parked the car and walked into the first store. I was feeling beyond overwhelmed by people’s energy, spirit and something felt off. I started to get a headache. I put my hand on a pressure point on my head and as my mother turned out I noticed her rubbing her head too. We looked at one another and she said I’m feeling overwhelmed I don’t know what it is. I couldn’t help but laugh at how in sync we were. We exited the store and hoped in the car deciding to go to a nursery instead. We kept it low key for the rest of the day and just spent time at the house visiting. Allot less of whelming! I couldn’t figure out what was off. I checked the moon calendar and nothing looked out of the ordinary.

In the evening I came home and got settled. I started to feel like I was on an emotional roller coaster. I just needed to sit and sort things out I thought. After thinking about it I recalled how everything in life – big changes and big shifts seemed to happen every 7 years for me. Now at 29, 22, 15, 8 & 2. As I kept going back I recalled age 2. I had this really moving vision or past memory that came to me. I was outside in our old house were we used to live and I was walking on some sort of rocks outside the door. Big rocks – just like outdoor flooring. I had my hair in pick-tails and I was wearing ruffle socks and little shoes. I was not the steadiest on my feet. I was holding a sort of cup or something in my right hand. My mom had shoulder length hair and was knelled down on the floor by the door saying my name twice. I could “feel” her voice and her energy was unlike anything I have ever felt. The “love” and the bond she had with me broke me down into tears. I have never felt someone else’s love especially my mothers. I have no children so I have never experienced the love a mother has for her child. I was sobbing. This opened up more visions and more intense feelings in connection to her.

After crying myself to sleep I woke up the next day to see what the heck was going on. What shifts were happening if any? Sure enough I found this page (http://www.mysticmamma.com/twin-star-of-david-star-tetrahedron-merkaba-august-25th-2013-peace-portal/) It seems the 25th was actually a day of significance.

Yesterday I was still feeling off all day. I was having sleeping issues and spirit seemed a bit louder then normal.

In the evening I received a call from a friend who lives in AZ. Actually a lady I met on an airplane. We became friends after I spoke to her regarding spirit.

She was really having a hard time. She sounded stressed and at her breaking point. We spoke for over 2 hours. During that time her grandma came through. I heard “Grandma” and then felt this stinging in my feet. It was an odd sensation. I knew her grandma had to have an issue with her feet. I nicely interrupted and asked her about a grandma that she was close to and passed away and mentioned this problem with the feet. Right away she perked up and said yes, that’s my Grandma so and so and she died of diabetes. She had a problem with her feet. Her grandma just wanted to comfort her by letting her know that she is there for her. She was a very sweet lady. I picked up on allot while on the phone with her and was able to help her from the guidance that spirit was providing. By the time it was time to go she sounded so much better. It was a night and day difference.

There is no better feeling in the world then the feeling of helping people. Whether its just making them smile or helping facilitate a message from spirit.


Birth Charts / Star Charts

How many of you have had your star charts although-wise known as birth charts worked up?

Recently I discovered how beneficial start charts/birth charts can be to people.  To have a deeper understanding of our-self can not only help us evolve but it can also help us to become a better person.

Most people just look at their sun sign and don’t realize that they have a moon sign, acceding sign, the houses.  All of these play an effect into who we are.

I started doing star charts earlier this year after a family member read mine she asked for the whole families to gain a better understand the family dynamics.  Since then I have done under a dozen.  Anyone from folks I met on a plan to the hair salon.  Most of the time after someone reads theirs and my interpretation I provide, they then seek to understand a loved one better.  Interpreting these and understanding the dynamics between multiple charts (multiple loved ones) can be difficult so I will help provide clarity and interpretations.

I truly love doing star charts, perhaps I feel I can use some of my gift while doing these but I think its also because I know with the information these provide, it can only help people understand themselves and others better.  These are about 10 plus pages, pretty in depth.