I had a dream the other night that I was seeing this man. He wasn’t a good spirit by any means. I was scared of this being.
It took me almost a full day to understand this dream.
I’m 31 years old and my mother is still telling me to be myself. She says “I would give allot to see even a glimpse of what you see, yet you still just want to fit in. You will never fit in and the sooner you except yourself, the easier it will be on your daughter if you find out she’s special too. Don’t you think God made you this way for a reason” Needless to say, her visit made me reflect allot.
I hide behind an anonymous blog. No name, no photo. Nothing traceable. Because of fear. Fear is my worst enemy at all levels. I fear that someone will find out my secrets, I fear that someone will think I’m nuts, I fear the things I see at times because I don’t understand them. I don’t understand why I see the things I see. I’m so focused on the “why am I seeing these things” that I miss the message.
I have all these church friends now who are just wonderful and every Sunday I obsess about trying to look perfect and fit in but I don’t need to “fit in.” I am me and I’m different and no matter if my hair is perfect or not, I’m still going to be me. Once I accept that I will feel better about the way I am and my relationships with others. I still struggle to find one religion that sums up what I believe in and explains what I see everyday of my life. My belief in god is extremely strong but its hard to pin myself to one religion.
I still have these urges all the time! To travel. To go to the southwest and live among the canyons. To step out of my high-level job and follow my heart. To align my life work to helping others. How fulfilling this would be! I wonder how great it would be to get to know others like myself. I feel a little part of me dying as I try to mold myself into others who don’t see spirit, who don’t see aura’s and who don’t feel others emotions. Just talking about it and not pretending its not there makes it better but to suppress it everyday is depressing. I wonder how others deal in their lives. Wives, mothers, friends, sisters.
I’m unsure if anyone else felt some shifts in the air on Sunday (8-25) but I without a doubt did! I had prior plans with my mother. We had plans to go to a Lake near by where they have some shops and spend the day together. We parked the car and walked into the first store. I was feeling beyond overwhelmed by people’s energy, spirit and something felt off. I started to get a headache. I put my hand on a pressure point on my head and as my mother turned out I noticed her rubbing her head too. We looked at one another and she said I’m feeling overwhelmed I don’t know what it is. I couldn’t help but laugh at how in sync we were. We exited the store and hoped in the car deciding to go to a nursery instead. We kept it low key for the rest of the day and just spent time at the house visiting. Allot less of whelming! I couldn’t figure out what was off. I checked the moon calendar and nothing looked out of the ordinary.
In the evening I came home and got settled. I started to feel like I was on an emotional roller coaster. I just needed to sit and sort things out I thought. After thinking about it I recalled how everything in life – big changes and big shifts seemed to happen every 7 years for me. Now at 29, 22, 15, 8 & 2. As I kept going back I recalled age 2. I had this really moving vision or past memory that came to me. I was outside in our old house were we used to live and I was walking on some sort of rocks outside the door. Big rocks – just like outdoor flooring. I had my hair in pick-tails and I was wearing ruffle socks and little shoes. I was not the steadiest on my feet. I was holding a sort of cup or something in my right hand. My mom had shoulder length hair and was knelled down on the floor by the door saying my name twice. I could “feel” her voice and her energy was unlike anything I have ever felt. The “love” and the bond she had with me broke me down into tears. I have never felt someone else’s love especially my mothers. I have no children so I have never experienced the love a mother has for her child. I was sobbing. This opened up more visions and more intense feelings in connection to her.
After crying myself to sleep I woke up the next day to see what the heck was going on. What shifts were happening if any? Sure enough I found this page (http://www.mysticmamma.com/twin-star-of-david-star-tetrahedron-merkaba-august-25th-2013-peace-portal/) It seems the 25th was actually a day of significance.
Yesterday I was still feeling off all day. I was having sleeping issues and spirit seemed a bit louder then normal.
In the evening I received a call from a friend who lives in AZ. Actually a lady I met on an airplane. We became friends after I spoke to her regarding spirit.
She was really having a hard time. She sounded stressed and at her breaking point. We spoke for over 2 hours. During that time her grandma came through. I heard “Grandma” and then felt this stinging in my feet. It was an odd sensation. I knew her grandma had to have an issue with her feet. I nicely interrupted and asked her about a grandma that she was close to and passed away and mentioned this problem with the feet. Right away she perked up and said yes, that’s my Grandma so and so and she died of diabetes. She had a problem with her feet. Her grandma just wanted to comfort her by letting her know that she is there for her. She was a very sweet lady. I picked up on allot while on the phone with her and was able to help her from the guidance that spirit was providing. By the time it was time to go she sounded so much better. It was a night and day difference.
There is no better feeling in the world then the feeling of helping people. Whether its just making them smile or helping facilitate a message from spirit.
How many of you have had your star charts although-wise known as birth charts worked up?
Recently I discovered how beneficial start charts/birth charts can be to people. To have a deeper understanding of our-self can not only help us evolve but it can also help us to become a better person.
Most people just look at their sun sign and don’t realize that they have a moon sign, acceding sign, the houses. All of these play an effect into who we are.
I started doing star charts earlier this year after a family member read mine she asked for the whole families to gain a better understand the family dynamics. Since then I have done under a dozen. Anyone from folks I met on a plan to the hair salon. Most of the time after someone reads theirs and my interpretation I provide, they then seek to understand a loved one better. Interpreting these and understanding the dynamics between multiple charts (multiple loved ones) can be difficult so I will help provide clarity and interpretations.
I truly love doing star charts, perhaps I feel I can use some of my gift while doing these but I think its also because I know with the information these provide, it can only help people understand themselves and others better. These are about 10 plus pages, pretty in depth.