March / April / May 2013 Journal Entries

Journal Entry 3-20-2013

Journal Entry 3-23-2013

Fell into a meditation like stage.  I felt my hair stand up and suddenly felt surrounded by beings.  I felt coldness on my back, legs and neck as I watched spirit move with my eyes now open.  I began seeing the third eye and seen three markings.

I saw vivid blue lines following almost like hallways.  I now seen myself in a white sundress with black patterns.  I began hearing sounds and they sounded like industrial sounds but not exactly.  I felt something on my leg, like I was leaning against something that had a rough surface.  A few minutes later that it was my arm and hand against my leg.  Only a few minutes prior I hadn’t recognized the feeling of my own arm and hand.

Journal Entry 3-27-2013

I had a hair appointment today.  Every 2.5 months I go and get my hair highlighted.  Everything seemed pretty normal and after my colorist finished the shampoo girl came over.  She washes my hair sometimes so she smiled and greeted me.  I felt very overwhelmed when speaking with her.  It became apparent that her grandmother had passed and regiment on making herself known.  There was no way I was going to say something and make her uncomfortable.  Also I felt it just wasn’t my business.  I better start talking, about something, anything to distract myself.  I began telling her how I had gotten back from a trip to Arizona just last month and how I lived there for a few months before.  She stopped washing and walked around the bowl “I am from Arizona.”  Her grandmother told me that she moved due to family issues.  I said “oh, you moved here to be with family or help a sibling I mean be with family?”  She walked around the shampoo bowl again with a blank expression and said yes.  The grandmother mentioned something about boots.  I said “you know it’s funny I thought when I moved out to Phoenix everyone would be wearing boots but they wern’t.  To be honest with you I have always wanted a pair of boots.”  She looked at me with a very strange expression and said “I wanted boots so bad.  I worked and saved up all I could just to buy a pair of nice boots and even after I still couldn’t get the really nice ones I wanted. ”  The Grandmother would not quit.  She was pretty pushy.  I had to leave she began doing double takes as I was combing my hair and I felt I couldn’t subside the Grandmother thing any longer.  I just didn’t feel right taking to a stranger about their own Grandparent that had passed.  It seemed very forward.

When I got home I felt stressed about.  Just torn between what’s right and what’s wrong.  I asked my boyfriend what his thoughts were and he mentioned finding a way of working it in the conversation just like I did with the boots.  I was so overwhelmed at the time I didn’t even think of it.  What an excellent idea.  I will have to try that next time.

Journal Entry 3-28-2013

Headed on a road to trip to CO this evening.  The sky looked clear and it looked for be a great time to do the fifteen hour trip.  My boyfriend and I took turns driving while the other dozed off a little.  While driving I felt the spirit of my brother in law that has passed.  I will often feel and or see him when I am in the car listening and/or singing and in my dreams.  It was dark and really late.  I was pretty tired but functioning well behind the wheel.  I heard felt the coldness under my hair to the right behind my shoulder.  He told me that he was watching over me to make sure I was safe.  His energy is very soothing and I felt tired.  All of a sudden I seen a hand – a clear-white translucent colored hand move back and forth in front of my face.  Like a sibling does to see if you are sleeping when you’re a kid.  I knew this was him.  I was not that tired…..

 

Journal Entry 4-3-2013

I was taking a bath when spirit filled the whole shower.  I seen green and white semitransparent forms.  One of the messages I received was how much my current position (work) was filling my head thus blocking me from evolving.  My body was surrounded in a thin translucent white light.  I also heard “hands.”  I right hand was surrounded in a white light forming in the middle was a spiral/hole center in the colors of black and purple.

hand

Journal Entry 4-21-2013

Relaying messages from spirit is not easy.  And sometimes you can feel the brunt of it.  It puts you in a uncomfortable situation at times.  These messages can hurt people or cause people to resent the messenger.  I think I need to keep my messages to myself for a while.  I know some messages are not meant to be shared.  There are things we as people are supposed to experience and learn for ourselves.  Most of the time this is the hard way…

But the ones that are supposed to be heard, these of course are the hardest messages to keep within.  How can we evolve if we cannot hear the words for what they are and accept for what it is.

Journal Entry 4-30-2013

I went to StoneHedge today in New Hampshire.

It was very intense.  I felt the heavy feeling again on my chest like someone was standing on me.  I also felt very off balance.  Also like a tipped feeling.

I heard something from spirit about “Trail of Tears.”  I wasn’t sure what that was about as I didn’t think NH was part of the Trail of Tears.  After researching later I realized that there has been a Discovery Channel documentary made about the Trail of Tears and some parts were filmed in NH.

In my room there was a chair and the chair had a white aura like energy coming from it.  There was a man present.

I remembered a memory from a long time ago.  Perhaps childhood.  I was me but I wasn’t. I was actually a Native woman working with my hands on some sort of camp.  The men were out hunting.  The ground was so green and there forest was filled with tall trees.

Journal Entry 5-4-2013

Today I went to Waterfall Glen.  It’s really amazing there.  There is a small waterfall that we were trying to find and ended up walking 14 miles.  When we finally found it, it was well worth it!  We picked a spot on a rock in the middle of the water and sat to take it all in.  It became obvious within a few minutes that spirit was present.  The message was clear.  “To see the water is to see life.  As the water moves before the fall it moves in a controlled fashion.  It moves in between the rocks and plants and continues in this pattern until it reaches the fall where it comes crashing down, hitting rocks and then joins the rest of the water and moves together within a rhythm.  This is me.  The water is as I am.  I try to control so many things in my life and you can’t control water.  It will always find a way.  This is life.  If we try to control everything including people, we will moving against water, against rhythm and will never find harmony.

 Journal Entry 5-30-2013

I decided to talk a walk in the early evening.  Today, this specific date can be hard for me at times.  It’s a cold reminder of what happens when we close ourselves off from our inner voice.  This was the day I was married a few years back, I’m now divorced.  I personally still have high regards for marriage, not on a government level but on an individual level.  True love and the wanting of a joint partnership from another being is a beautiful thing and it’s to be respected in my opinion.

I began my walk and continued walking through a conservation by the house.  I noticed large silver ball of light near tree level.  It radiated like a sun and was about the size of one. I looked around immediately to see who was connected to this light and there I seen a man standing before a bridge looking down.  The light was near my trail ahead where I always walk through.  I continued on my path as he walked away from the bridge and started walking about fifteen feet in front of me.  I had many feelings about this light and messages started flooding in about the man.  I noticed this green light coming from him.  It was a bit dirty.  It looked like the color of a green bean when they start to go bad.  His light re-affirmed the messages.  I felt this beyond impatient urge to approach this man and tell him what I say and felt.  Being a Scorpio running up to random strangers and talking about “feelings” among all things is not common.  I felt if I perhaps passed him I could walk far enough ahead to quite spirit.  It didn’t work at all.  I could feel him slowing down to give me space to walk but I also felt myself slowing down as the impatient feeling of spirit became too heavy.

How was I to approach this subject?  I had no clue.  But I didn’t have time to obsess over it.  I am never one for labels.  So labeling myself is not something I enjoy doing however I realize that in the English language we have labeled many things and some people only understand when you use these “labels.”

I turned around very quickly and approached the  man.

“Excuse me sir, I am so sorry to bother you.  Really, talking to stranger is not something I typically do however…. have you by chance ever talked to a medium or anything.”  He replied “no and looked at me a little strange.”  “Ok, that’s fine, listen I have some messages and I really need to talk to you.”  He began slowing down.  “When I first saw you I seen your light.  You have a green light.  You are connected to Nature and your roots through the green light.  However, your light has become dull and dirty with worry and stress.  You need to gain a handle of this.  This is really holding you back.”  He stopped and his eyes watered up.  He said when he walks as he was just then he prays.  He said he has been trying to gain a hold on his stress but his son and…. I stopped him right there.  I told him it was not my business I just had to relay the message.  I didn’t mention the silver ball of light of his ancestors watching over him and listening as now I knew it was his prayers they were listening to.  Still watering up he asked my name and grabbed my hand as he introduced himself.  His name is special and I told him his name was unique and he stopped me there and said it was the name from verse … in the New Testament.  I smiled as I said I understood now why his light was bright.  He had a path for himself and from the family and his light was very large and very bright.  He thanked me over and over again, giving his commitment to work on his stress through walking and other means.

If we make a day all about what happened in the past we will not only stop ourselves from evolving but we will prevent the establishment of that divine connection with others.


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