July 2011 Journal Entries

In early July 2011 I was living in North Phoenix.  I was so close to the tip of North Phoenix that the next town called Anthem was only a few blocks away.  I had dreamed for years of moving to Arizona so when the opportunity arose I jumped at the chance without doing much homework and within a one month I relocated.  I was married at the time and considered the marriage a pretty typical one.  This move and the marriage was anything but typical however.

One night in early July I recall lying in bed it was around 11:00 pm.  My husband at the time was not home.  I don’t recall having my eyes closed or even sleeping.  I was remembering laying there in some sort of consciousness.  I was walking and I seen cloud-like forms all over, soon everything became white as if I was standing in a world of just blank white.  I heard the sound of the drum and it grew louder and louder.  At moments the beating was so intense I was unsure if it was my heartbeat or the sound of the drum.  I connected with the drum and felt I was one with the drum.  Before me stood a man.  He was Native American.  I felt he was a chief and he did wear a headdress.  He had distinguished cheek bones, a strong voice and piercing eyes that had seen the world from another angle.  He did not smile and had a stern, strong expression on his face.  He wasn’t sad, mad or happy.  He was simply there for a purpose.

I looked at him and he said “we must prepare for war.”  I had no idea what he was talking about “what war?  There is no war.  This isn’t the 1800’s.”  He repeated himself again “we must prepare for war.  I will show you.”  Before me stood several animals.  To my right, left, center and side.  He said I”I will teach you how to fight.”  At this point of time I could tell by his consistent serious expression that he was indeed serious and that I needed to listen.  I agreed.  He spoke “Now we fight the tiger, when you fight the tiger you must use your mind to kill the tiger.”  I remember the tiger coming at me as I grabbed him with my hand holding him by his jaw.  I felt no pain, fear or any other feeling.  This repeated with every animal as I was taught how to kill them (not really kill but prevent them from defeating me) by using my mind.  When we finished he slowly seemed to be moving further and further away from me until he disappeared.  The sound of the drum was still beating and my heart was as well.  I remember snapping out of it and very robotically sitting up.  I could still hear the drums.

After the dream more dreams came and a series of signs and events occurred which ultimately resulted in me finding out that all my dreams were not dreams at all, they were actually fact.

The war I fought was an internal war.  I had to overcome pain, suffering, anger and fear mentally.  I had to overpower the animal and remain standing strong.

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